


Golden Peony

by elegant_tree



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fullmetal Alchemist 2003/Brotherhood Fusion, Angst, Boys Kissing, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Getting Together, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, Kageyama Tobio is a Good Boyfriend, M/M, Men Crying, Mutual Pining, Natsu is emo lmao, Neck Kissing, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Hinata Shouyou, Sassy Hinata Shouyou, Soft Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegant_tree/pseuds/elegant_tree
Summary: “That day when they came to my house-” Shouyou licked his lips nervously, “They said they had an offer.” He had said he would think about it.“What do you mean?”“They asked me to work as a State Alchemist.” He had said he would think about it.---OR Snippets of Kageyama caring for Hinata
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 19
Kudos: 67





	1. The last time

**Author's Note:**

> Ive had this idea in my head for a while (Im rewatching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood bc quarantine lol) and I wanted to put it out there. Comments, criticism and thoughts on it are welcomed :)
> 
> \--  
> ADDITIONAL  
> -Third year Kageyama and Hinata.  
> -Both aged to 18 years old.

A lot can happen during a lifetime. Sometimes the very interpretation of ‘a lot’ summed up the cackling spine of a horror book that was just freshly opened and Kageyama remembered clearly what the first few lines were.

He remembered like it was yesterday, it was the last time he saw Shouyou’s true colors come through, it was the last time he saw those hazel eyes filled with carefree joy. The soldiers from the capital had come knocking on the door just days before, kicking Tobio out of the Hinata household on a low-lit Thursday evening just as Kageyama was helping set the table with Natsu while Shouyou and his mother stirred the thick stew in the pot. He remembered their royal blue uniforms and scuffed boots demanding to know something about ‘an illegal source of alchemy’.

Kageyema was aware of Hinata's use of alchemy- scratch that, his whole  _ family's _ use of alchemy. He had first witnessed it after a vase had fallen on the floor and shattered. Hinatas mother had quickly come in and asked the pair of boys to step away and hold Natsu while she drew an odd circle with chalk on the door and clapped her hands together before… boom! The vase was brand new. Later, he had asked Hinata if he could also perform alchemy and found out he was more skilled with alchemy than his mother was. When he asked  _ how  _ he was able to do this Hinata had just shrugged and said his grandmother was a powerful state alchemist and had trained him for hours everyday after school before she passed when he was 14.

The soldier's sharp knock though, was days before the letter came in the mail. He remembered it because Kageyama always walks Hinata home, he always stays over for at least a few hours before retiring to his own house (courtesy of his dead-beat mom and neglectful dad). He remembered Hinata going out to retrieve the mail while Kageyama listened to Natsu ramble abound the cat she saw at recess as he stared out the window seeing the low-dipping sun pour rays of thick honey and nectar across his milky skin and auburn hair. 

Shouyou had matured over the years, he had always been well…  _ attractive,  _ but as Kageyama observed his features that one might call  _ cute _ had slipped into pretty in their second year (that's when Tobio knew he was fucked). From second year his features that might be called pretty twisted into… well,  _ beautiful.  _ He was by no means hot, he was too vanilla for that. But...he was lean and had incredibly toned legs (oh my god his  _ legs- _ ) and while he was still short (5 foot 6 to be exact) he could damn well fill out a pair of skinny jeans. His hair had morphed from an untamed mass of knots to delicate waves to untamed loose curls that stuck out everywhere, but over the years his hair had  _ also _ lost its shock of color as it now stood as a coppery red auburn. 

(Kageyama supposes that it was a fair trade for the evolution of bouncy curls that glistened on his head, so he wasn’t too upset about that) 

Not only had he matured physically but he also did mentally. He was working a job to help out his widowed mother ever since she got laid off from her own as a newspaper reporter in Tokyo (She wasn’t currently unemployed as that was months ago, but Shouyou says he finds overdue bills that will probably never be payed with her shitty maid job). In fact, he was working that job along with attending regular volleyball practice for all of second year and a third of the way through their third year before he finally decided to quit the volleyball club in favor of picking up a second job.

He still had the same energy, but he was quieter. He still had the same laugh and beautiful (lips) smile and wit but he was… quieter. More determined yet thoughtful, more wistful yet tired. Kageyama supposes he had softened up too ever since their first year. They hang out together during lunch with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi under the staircase, their friendship tighter than ever. Friends. Tobio and Shou were friends, nothing else.

Just best friends.

So… Kageyama remembers his best friend kicking the door shut, freezing mid-shuffle through the mail. Tobio remembers standing up, shushing Natsu and asking her to go draw him something pretty because he needs some decorations for his college dorm next year. He remembers as the two of them sat down at Hinata's kitchen table, as milky hands unfolded the letter from the sickly orange envelope and Kageyama demanded to know what it said because the slide of Shouyou’s eyes rapidly flying across the document was making him nervous. 

Tobio remembered him sliding the document over to him, hazel eyes hard and thoughtful, head leaning on his fisted hands pressing against his mouth. There had been a bandaid on his left pinky. Kageyama remembered because it had been Hello-Kitty themed that Natsu had insisted he needed this morning after she found out about the papercut he had received ‘studying’ the night before (crying with laughter on the floor with the setter after being gifted some absolutely _ darling _ portraits Natsu had made of them)

It was from the Capital. The scuffed boot, stern voiced, sharp eyed soldiers wanted something to do with  _ Shouyou. _ Hinata with the soft eyes and long lashes. Hinata with the loud laugh and electric grins. Hinata with the unfinished stacks of homework and rumpled curls. Hinata with his untied shoes and chapped lips and uneven dimples and endless fidgeting and deep hazel eyes and chewed nails and his  _ stupid  _ habit of putting  _ absolutley everything _ in his pockets even though he had that  _ stupid fucking  _ Naruto backpack he carried around whenever they hung out anywhere that wasn’t Karasuno. The Capital wanted Shou. The Capital wanted  _ his  _ Shouyou.

Pattering footsteps make the both of them look up and Hinata is forced to oblige to Natsu tugging on his delicate, smooth hand. Only later- much  _ much  _ later, when his mother is home and the two of them are supposed to be asleep since it's a school night does Shouyou tell him blow by blow about what happened when the Soldiers in the blue uniforms came. The only sounds were the humming of the microwave and the ticking of Shouyous trusty watch layering under the soft whispers coming from those plump lips.

Hinata had been caught using alchemy, but that wasn’t much of a problem. Although it was technically illegal, there were many apothecaries and junk yard owners who knew the very basics of alchemy. But...Shouyou already knew the very basics of alchemy. The problem was that he had been caught using a  _ copious  _ amount of alchemy to stop an out of control car from crashing into a local storefront. Not only that, but Shouyou didn’t need to draw out a transmutation circle like his mother. He always had a pair of leather brown (yet  _ incredibly  _ overused) fingerless gloves stowed away in his pocket. They had that strange engraving of an ever detailed circle and symbols littering the outside of it. Earlier on, Tobio had asked about them when Shouyou had first pulled them out to fix an old picture frame that had shattered at the Kageyama household.

Turns out the gloves had been handed down from his grandmother, and eventually after she taught him for long enough he was able to transfer from the chalky circles traced out on the floor to the gloves. They required greater concentration, and an abundance more of power coming from the alchemy user.

Yes, Hinata had been caught using Alchemy but it was for a good cause- he wasn’t one of those disturbed people who Kageyama heard about in the press. The people who create chimeras, the people who hurt people- who  _ murder  _ people. So...why? Why was Hinata- of all people- being targeted for just picking up some quirk that his grandmother had taught him?

“That day when they came to my house-” Shouyou licked his lips nervously, “They said they had an offer.” _ He had said he would think about it. _

“What do you mean?”  _ They had mentioned that there would be a steady income, they must have noticed the stack of bills piling up in the kitchen. _

“Those papers you saw were for my enlistment.”  _ They said they had a dwindling number of State Alchemists ever since The War. _

“ _ What do you mean?!” _ Shouyou had asked about the details for the money.

“They asked me to work as a State Alchemist.”  _ He had said he would think about it. _

~~_Hinatas mother nearly collapsed in despair when her son confessed to filling out the document and sending it off_ ~~


	2. Fairy dances and Butterfly kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of the day that Hinata comes home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're now aged to 20.
> 
> Hinata uses Earth Alchemy, I wanted to combine his Earth alchemy with Hazels powers from the Percy Jackson series. Fight scenes might be in later chapters but basically all you need to know is that he uses minerals and stones from the ground in his alchemy. Hence the name The Jade Alchemist. ok bye
> 
> STAY INSIDE!

The missions went on for weeks, sometimes months at a time (depending if it was overseas or not) and Tobio felt completely hopeless every time Shou called him up at the station with a flat voice asking for a ride back to their shared apartment. Except when Kageyama got there he would be reminded that those deep hazel eyes got a little bit colder, his posture became a little more rigid, and his face became a little more older each time he came back home.

Hinata and Tobio shared a shitty apartment together on the outskirts of the University that Tobio was attending, regardless of the fact of how Shouyou had never attended college before and probably never would. In fact, Hinata never finished highschool, dropping out a little over halfway of the year to focus on the steadily rising stack of bills on the coffee table. Regardless, Hinata was still making a sustainable amount of money through the military (having to quit his two part time jobs to make room for it) to help support not only his family but also his own living place. 

Living conditions be damned, Tobio had been forced to rent out an even shittier apartment than they lived in now in a sketchy part of town, refusing to choke down the monthly room and board bills. Shouyou was technically assigned an apartment by headquarters because of his involvement as a State Alchemist but insisted he’d rather stay with Tobio. Something about not wanting to come home to a place that made him want to vomit.

When Tobio got up today he was relieved to find that not only did he not have any classes (he was studying physics) but he had received a voicemail from Shou sometime around 5am

_ ‘Hey, Tobio. I just got in a few minutes ago. I have to go in for debriefing so I’ll probably stick around for a bit before I take the train back. Call me back, please.’ _

Kageyama felt a small  _ woosh _ of relief blow through him at just the sound of his voice because Shouyou was here and he was  _ here _ in the  _ country. _ He had been gone for so long and he was finally  _ here.  _ The voicemail was short and clipped because Tobio knew his phone was probably dead and he used the phone booth at the Capital and that it was always traced and listened in to but above all it was  _ Shouyou. _

...The same Shouyou who sent a voicemail to Kageyama at 5:13am...The same Kageyama who was still twisted in his bedsheets at 7:23am-

_ Shit! _

In a frenzie, Kageyama leapt out of bed, simultaneously snatching an energy drink from their fridge and calling back Hinata. He pressed the speaker button and threw it on his bed as he shoved a pair of jeans on.

_ ‘Hi.’ _ Shouyous voice sounded groggy like he had just woken up from a nap.

“Hey, are you in from the station yet?” There was a shuffling of fabric on the other side of the line.

_ ‘Mmm...Not yet,’  _ A muffled yawn,  _ ‘Maybe a half hour out…’  _

“Okay.” He was just shoving a t-shirt over his head when he heard his phone chime, it was a message from Yamaguchi.

Every couple of months or so the whole Team from their 1st year at Karasuno would meet up at some run down diner back in their hometown to reconnect. If they had time they would play a few practice matches under Coach Ukai and Teacher Takedas supervision at Karasuno. It was fun and opened a floodgate of nostalgia. Hinata hadn’t been to one in quite awhile and he wasn’t sure he wanted to put another thing on Shouyous to-do list, especially since he didn’t know the extent of the damage done on him during the mission- whether that be mentally or physically.

It would help if Hinata just  _ talked  _ to him about the missions, at the very least call ever once in a while. Unfortunately, the only time he ever got the alchemist to open up about the horrors and devistations he experienced on a mission was when he was choking on his own breaths after a nightmare, or when a loud noise set him off into a paranoid state; eyes scanning their surroundings, grip on Tobio’s wrist tight, the handle of a hidden dagger revealed through peachy soft hands gripping its handle. 

He had seen some shit in the past two and a half years he had been involved in the military, yet he refused to resign (no matter how much his mother pleaded). He continued to steadily climb in the ranks, worming his way into the trusted circle of the Colonels subordinate. For a while there he worked with another person from the circle, that only lasted 5 or 6 months (at the funeral Hinata cried with the most genuine remorse Kageyama had ever seen anyone express). He worked alone now.

“Hey,” deciding against his better judgement Kageyama proposed an offer “Yamaguchi just texted me, tonight the whole team is getting together again.”

No answer.

“Hinata?”

A soft exhale, almost resembling a snore was heard crackling through the speaker. Tobio heaved a sigh, this boy would be the death of him.

-

“Long time no see.” Tobio breathed, because he was damn near breathless gazing at those tunneling hazel eyes and copper curls.

“It was only two and a half weeks, stupid.” Shouyou retorted back as he adjusted his duffle bag on his shoulder, oblivious to the warmth at the tips of the setters ears.

“Whatever, dumbass” Tobio held out his hand; an offering to take his burdening luggage. “Its astonishing to see you have half the brain cells you used to, it's a dwindling number.” Shouyou replied with a swat to the arm, while kindly rejecting Kageyama's offer with a light brush to his outstretched fingertips.

It was little touches like these that left Tobios fingertips burning for hours, his insides twisted and his awareness more prominent. It always started off like this, their friendly bickering, Shouyous smiles that never quite caught up to his eyes- soulless eyes that stared off into the distance, aimless and unreadable. Kageyama never knew how hard the missions were, how much of a strain it put on his smaller companion. Regardless, it always hurts to see him adapt to normalcy and peace after experiencing God-knows-what on those ever so secretive trips.

The trunk of Tobios trusty 2012 chevy impala slammed shut, just moments before the silvery car doors snapped shut on both the passengers and drivers side of the vehicle. He started the engine turning to face Shouyou, who wore the standard uniform for the capital: royal blue cargo pants tucked into well worn army boots. He had taken off the standard jacket, presumably among his time on the train. Tobio had come to find out with his time as his best friend's roommate that under the starched jackets (which Hinata absolutely  _ despised)  _ came a tight skinned black turtleneck, its sleeves cutting off mid-bicep. 

Good  _ God _ , if only Shouyou knew what his uniform _ did to him- _

“What?” Shouyou blanched, beautifully toned arms crossed over his chest, left leg thrown over his right. The turtleneck carved out his upper-body perfectly, hugging every curve of his arms and chest. Scars that made his heart ache littered his arm in various places. Copper curls flopped over his forehead and his long eyelashes filtered a half-hearted glare coming his way.

Kageyama swallowed thickly, he had  _ really  _ softened up after highschool.  _ Get a hold of yourself, creep! _ “Yamaguchi texted me earlier today, when we were on the phone.”

“‘Kay…?”

“The old team is getting together tonight again,” Tobio turned away, pushing the gearstick out of park. He paused for a minute, first ensuring their safety as they pulled out of the busy train-station parking lot before continuing. “Grabbing some food at that old diner we used to hang out at after practice-” He paused, out of the corner of the eye he saw Hinata shift in his seat. “-Then play a few games at the gym.” He finished quickly. The last few words of his proposition hung in the air for a couple of minutes in a condensed cloud of silence. The tension in the car seemed to be building by the second. 

_ Fuck,  _ He _ knew  _ he shouldn’t have mentioned it. He was probably tired, and he probably wanted some time to recharge himself before he even went out of the house at all within the next couple of days. He fought the urge to rest a comforting hand on Hinatas warm thigh (because it wasn't like that and he  _ knew it wasn’t ever going to be like that-)- _

“Look-” Kageyama started just as Hinata said, “Okay.” 

Startled, Tobio whipped his head around for maybe a second or two too long before realizing he was still driving and turned his head back to the road. He sighed, “Look… I just don't want you to feel pressured to go, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Kageyama replied, sneaking a glance at Hinata every chance he got within the next 10 minutes or so of silence that formulated in the car.

“I still want to go.” Shouyou finally said, glancing over at Tobio, “I haven’t seen them in a long time. Besides, It’s been a long time since me and you have played together.” He grinned, but Kageyama wasn’t convinced nor amused.

“Hinata, I can tell you don’t want to go.”

“I said I did.”

“But you dont.”

“But I do!”

Tobios lips were set into a firm line as they pulled into a parking space in front of their apartment block. As soon as he set the gear-shift in park he turned on the shorter one with soft eyes. “I don’t know what you’ve  _ seen _ -” he started but was cut off quickly with a steel glare and a snappy response.

“I don’t need you to look after me!” Shouyou said defensively, all his walls going up.

“-I don't know what you’ve been through this time,” Kageyama started over, his soft volume going up a notch. “But you know your own limits.” Hinata opened his mouth, most likely to give some witty response back but he cut him off.

“Don’t bullshit me Shouyou.” He said softly, “If you don’t want to go, I won’t hold that against you.” Against his better judgement and overcome with the urge to soothe the defensive look in his friends eyes, he laid a calloused hand on his thigh. Hinatas mouth snapped shut and he was tense underneath the reassuring grip. Kageyama was just starting to regret his bold decision before he felt the other deflate under his hand. A soft  _ woosh _ left the shorter boy's mouth, eye bags suddenly more prominent, milky skin a little paler, and copper hair a little duller. 

“I know you won’t.” A small, delicate hand reached tentatively to lay on top of his larger one. Tobio felt warmth seep through his body as he reached up the tip of his thumb to sweep against the rough material of his uniform. “I’m sorry, I was being dumb.” Shouyous eyes were down cast. Kageyama grimaced and knew he should probably say something else, but he couldn't bring himself to break the heavy silence that curdled in the car after the words left the spikers lips. After a moment or two more, Tobio awkwardly patted the other's leg and moved to ungracefully open the driver's side door, fumbling with the handle for a second or two before realizing the door was locked.

“Come on,” He said as soon as he got it open, face tinted red with embarrassment    
“Let’s get you inside.”  _ Real Smooth, idiot.  _

The walk to their room was uneventful. The elevator wasn’t working (again) so they had to take the stairs and this time Tobio forced Shouyou to give him his duffel bag, he had noticed the very subtle wince on his left side when he was bumped into the wall. Upon arriving in their apartment Shouyou unlaced his boots and kicked them off the moment he got inside- Kageyama was pleased to know that under those strict military boots he was wearing the pair of socks he had bought him that one time at the mall. Peony pink calf-rise socks with little guppies stitched into them.

“They let you wear those?”

“Huh-?” Shouyou quickly scanned himself before following Tobios line of sight. “Oh.” He then snorted, “No.”

“Wow.” Tobio scoffed with a grin on his face.

“What are they gonna do, dummy? Tell me to take off my socks?” Now they were both grinning.

“Go shower, dumbass,” He grabbed Hinata’s duffle and his uniform jacket before heading to their room. “I’ll put on a movie, hurry up or I’ll start it without you.” Hinata perked up at this.

“Can it be Frozen?”

“The office.”

  
“You said a movie”

“Totoro.”

“That 70’s Show?” Kageyama huffed a laugh.

“Okay, Deal.” He felt his heart thump in his throat the way that his face lit up.  _ This boy would be the death of him  _ “Now go shower.”

\--

Their home had four rooms in total. A bedroom, A kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom. It was a rather small house, really only meant to be a living space for a singular person. It wasn’t much of a problem since Hinata was rarely staying at their apartment for extended periods of time. Even so, they were more than comfortable with each other at this point and functioned damn near perfectly ( _ almost like a couple-) _ . Their bedroom was small, only containing the basic essentials: a queen sized mattress, a closet, and a mirror. The long mirror was leaning against the wall on the left side of the room, In the middle of the room, laying under an open window with billowing cream curtains, was a queen sized mattress with a thick wool blanket and a couple of pillows thrown on top of it. Their closet lay on the wall in front of the mattress, and a dying plant was shoved on the left hand corner of their bedroom. 

Originally there were two mattresses but they decided to sell it after the nightmares started coming. The nightmares that would startle Tobio awake with gut wrenching  _ screams,  _ with Hinata clinging to Kageyama, choking on his own breaths, sobbing, hangs gripping the setters t-shirt, the shirt which he would have to change once the fragile boy in front of him fell back asleep because  _ his shirt was soaked in tears of anguish- _

Sometimes they talk about those nights, sometimes they don’t. Ever since that first night a year and a half ago, they always fell asleep tangled together. Whether it be with Hinata's back pressed against his chest, Kageyama on top of the smaller boy with his head shoved in the crook of his neck, or Hinata pressing his face to Tobios back. They don't talk about that either, no matter how much he craves to know what the hell they are.

Kageyama sighed, dropping the duffel bag in the middle of the room and he put Shouyou’s shoes on their dusty wood floor at the foot of the bed beside his own. He went through the bag, tossing all of the clothes in there in the hamper inside their closet before tossing his own jeans in the basket. He then pulled on some black Adidas sweats and traded his t-shirt for a soft hoodie. Grabbing his laptop off the charger on the other side of the room, he threw himself on the mattress and pulled the wool blanket up to his chin, curled onto his side. I was a soft lavender thing, a handmade gift from Shouyou’s family. He was damn near asleep by the time he was startled back to the present with a poke to the forehead. A noise rose up in the back of his throat as he dutifully opened his left eye (the one not being squished against the mattress)

“Hi.” Hinata was on his knees, delicate legs tucked under him and he was smiling softly. He was wearing some gym shorts- probably the ones from his middle school since there was a faded name printed on the edge of one of the legs (he had only grown two inches from his time in middle school). He was shirtless and was displaying itty bitty water droplets that ran down his chest making the moment just that much more intimate. Tobio tried his hardest to keep his eyes on Shouyous face, taking in the rosie cheeks, ruffled wet curls, deep eyes that endlessly rode into his soul-

Kageyama swallowed thickly as a drop of water traced its way down Hinata's collarbone. He closed his eyes again feeling his face get hot. “Do you want to go back to sleep?” His tone was genuine. 

“No,” Kageyama sat up, rubbing his eyes as Hinata hummed. There was a soft pattering of feet and a rustle of clothing before he felt the mattress dip beside him. When he looked to the side he saw Hinata in one of his own t-shirts, it swamped him- sleeves nearly falling down to his elbows. “You have your own shirts, dumbass.” He grunted looking away with his heart strings tugging.

“Stupid.”   
  


“Idiot.”

“Dummy” 

“Have you called your mom yet?”

“Yeah.” Shouyou said softly, fiddling with the hem of his (Kageyamas!) shirt, the corners of his mouth quirked upward. “Natsu is singing at her school talent show, she's 12 now- can you believe it? Anyways, she invited us to come watch her sing next week.” 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Tobio said fondly, catching those doe eyes that were glazed over with softness at the thought of his baby sister.

15 minutes later Tobio was balancing his laptop on his legs with his arm curved around Hinata's shoulders, who was curled all soft and pliant against his side. After the missions he could either be stone-cold and refusing of any physical contact or he could be like he is today. Melting against the mattress, eyelids fluttering, silently begging for an ounce of normalcy back in his life. They got through half a season of silence, quiet laughter and jumbled limbs before Hinata suddenly piped up, leaning over to tap the spacebar and dutifully pausing the show. “What time do they want to meet up?”

Kageyama let his fingers fiddle with Hinata’s (his) shirt sleeve. “Soon.” He looked over and cut Hinata off just as he opened his mouth to press for details, “Two.”

“I want to go.”

“Are you sure?-” Tobio started, refusing to let Shouyou force himself into doing something he didn’t want to do.

“Yes. I want to see them.” Hinata's fingers traced patterns along Tobios chest. “I’ll tell you if…When…”  _ If it's too much, when you can’t take it anymore.  _ He paused finding the right words, “I'll tell you when I want to leave.” He was always skittish after missions, like he had a hard time trusting everybody around him.

“Okay.” Tobio said, snapping his laptop closed and kicking away the wool blanket.

The time was a little past 1 on their mission to quickly look presentable when Hinata decided to turn on the radio on the alarm clock beside their mattress. It hummed some disgusting bubble gum pop song- ruined with crackling static. There was a look shared between the two of them before Shouyou turned right back around to turn it off. 

When it was all set and done, Kageyama had decided to pull on the same jeans from the morning and a wrinkled white button up in which he rolled the sleeves up to. He then pulled on his sneakers like usual. Hinata on the other hand, had opted for a pair of cargo shorts, a mustard yellow hoodie and his pair of black puma classics (the suede kind). His old leather gloves were stuffed into his back pocket, fingers hanging out. Kageyama saw him slip his wallet and state alchemist pocket watch into his two front pockets before adjusting his old watch from highschool on his wrist. His outfit was casual and boyish, so... _ normal.  _

“I didn’t know you still had that-” Kagayeama stopped suddenly, his eyes zeroing in on his lower body attire. It was spring, so it was warm enough for him to be able to get away with wearing shorts- but it was what was revealed by the shorts that made his gaze harden.

“You're hurt.”

“What- Oh.” Hinata smiled sheepishly, “It’s just a scratch, not a big deal.” On his left calf was a poorly dressed wound, a tint of red seeping through the gauze.  _ How could I have missed it? _ That must have been the reason he kept his legs underneath him after the shower- so Kageyama wouldn’t have to mother him. His mind flashed back to the stairwell, where he could have sworn he saw the other wince.  _ Damn it!  _

Kageyama gave a frustrated sigh, scratching the back of his neck. “‘Not a big deal’ my ass!” He crouching down to get a better look while drowning out Shouyous reassurances and protests. “At least let me dress it,” He winced at the scars, both risen and flat, that littered Hinata's legs. It was a reminder of how quickly his spiker had been forced to age. They were both 20, with Hinata's 21’st birthday coming up within the next 3 months.  _ God. _ They were barely adults, old enough to still be recognized as teenagers to society's eyes.

Upon peeling away the wrap after Shouyou was properly seated Kageyama realized that it was in fact,  _ not _ a scratch and actually a deep gash. After a scolding from Kageyama (“Dumbass you should have told me!”) and a  _ proper _ tending to the wound, the two were on their way to the beloved diner a mere three blocks from Karasuno High.

(They had to turn back around once they realized they forgot their gym clothes because Kageyama  _ refused  _ to play volleyball in jeans)

The car ride was filled with Hinata's barely audible humming and the rattling of the athsmatic air conditioner within it. “Shouyou?” He said, a little over half way to their destination. He got a hum in response.

“You’ll let me know, right?” He asked tentatively, not wanting the other to blow up nor shut down. There was another hum in confirmation, not to be confused with the humming of his pastime. It was a simple four note thing that went up chromatically, something he always hummed whether it be when he was cooking, chilling, or doing chores. It was cute.

“I’m not afraid of them, I  _ want  _ to see them. It's been so long.” That's right, because it's been over a year since Hinata was able to indulge in doing something as simple as hanging out with his team on a late Saturday night. The missions we’re always making him take rainchecks, rainchecks he was never able to repay.

“I’m afraid of the questions.”  _ What? _ Kageyama must have looked as confused as he felt no matter how much he tried to shove down the emotion because Hinata smiled again. “They’ll want to know about my missions,” He fiddled with the edge of his shorts. “And my scars.” There was a beat of silence before Kageyama reached his hand out and once more placed it reassuringly on Hinata's thigh. Once more, fingers wormed their way in between the open spaces of his.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“I know.”

“Just let me know.”

“I know.”

The car ride was filled with comforting silence for the rest of the way.

\--

After pulling into the parking lot it was easy to spot their team through the windows of the 24 hour diner. It had become apparent that they were the last ones there, loud talk and shouts of laughter being muffled through the glass windows. Kageyama grinned to himself, warmth blooming over his chest at seeing his friends. Tobio turned to his companion, squeezing his thigh in reassurance as he saw the underlying anxiety under his features. “I’ll be okay.” Shouyou said as he finally turned to get a glimpse of the diner himself, the smallest of smiles was painted on his face.

The door let out a delicate chime as it was opened but you’d think it was a trumpet signaling their arrival. As soon as Kageyama stepped in Nishinoya let out an incoherent shout and pointed. Heads turned and there were overlapping warm greetings and smiles immediately flooding his senses.

“Kageyama!” Yamaguchi called over, his tone mellow and carefree. He was grinning, “I’m glad you could make it.” Kageyama smiled back before making his way to the table (or rather, length of tables) his team was at, revealing Hinata's presence along the way.

“Hinata!” Tanaka yelled, abrasive and borderline primal. This time, heads snapped so quick to the side they damn near got whiplash.

“Hinata!!”

“Shouyou- how’ve you been!”

“It's been awhile!”

An abundance of shouts and greetings flooded the diner, thank  _ God _ the group was the only presence of life in the diner (except the staff), or else they probably would have gotten kicked out.

“Uh, Hey.” Hinata smiled bashfully once the commotion had quieted down (for the most part). He was playing with the ends of his hoodie strings and his shoulders were tense. 

“Hinata, why don’t you come sit over here?” Suga suggested, patted a chair in between Tobio and himself. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were across from Kageyama and Yachi was beside him. Tables from all around the diner were pushed together, in an attempt to accommodate their big party. Everyone was there, even their old managers who might as well been playing volleyball themselves. Sometimes, Coach Ukai and Teacher Takeda dropped by while they were eating at the diner. Today was not one of those days, the group had agreed to meet up at Karasuno at about 5pm. While Hinata made his way over, Kageyama didn’t miss the quick body scan that Suga did on him.

Most of their time at the diner was filled with laughs and quick little side conversations, catching everybody up to speed. Once, a waitress came by to pick up any empty plates before stopping as soon as she eyed Hinata. “Oh!” She scurried over to him, drawing the attention of a few of the team members. “You’re that Jade Alchemist-” She nearly tipped over the plates she was holding.

  
Hinata stared back at her awkwardly with a tight-lipped smile. “My sister told me about you, she’s out East. You saved her from a batch of those chimeras that got loose, back last summer?-” She set her plates down back on the table to wave her hands around, Hinata at the mercy of the team's stares. Kegayama saw him shift in his seat. She probably talked his ear off for 10 minutes before asking for pictures. The whole affair was an entire 20 minutes too long for Shouyou it seemed because as soon as he returned he slumped back in his seat, flustered with embarrassment.

Tsukishima was wearing a shit-eating grin. “Got a couple of fangirls, bean sprout?” 

“Shut the hell up, four eyes.” Laughter rippled through the table and everything was okay for a while. The atmosphere was warm, Tanaka and Nishinoya cracked a few jokes that got Shouyou to laugh.  _ Actually  _ laugh- not just give a few pathetic ‘ha-ha’s. Only once or twice did the team pry about his personal life, the answers were always cut short and vague. Eventually they got the memo.

(“Hows work going?” “Fine.” “What happened to your leg?” “Work.”)

As if the night couldn’t get any more nostalgic, the walk to Karasuno with the stars littering the sky and the warm breeze tickling Kageyama's arms sealed the deal. Loud Boisterous laughter echoed through the street, coupled with teasing and snarky remarks.

The games at the highschool were just as exciting as always. Since Hinata had dropped volleyball in their third year and Kageyama had dropped it in college (It was the people who made it), the two of them really hadn’t worked on their quick ever since. As for Hinata, he hadn’t been on a volleyball court since  _ 3rd year. _ The two of them took a few minutes during stretches to reconnect their skills.

“You seriously haven’t played since highschool, Hinata?” Ennoshita asked

“Nope, just never got around to it.” 

A low whistle came from Nishinoya. “Come on, idiot.” Tobio said, he was smiling and ansty to get back on the court with Hinata. 

It took him a while to accustom the ball to Hinata's needs at first, and Hinata himself had a hard time spiking and remembering the movements in his body. Eventually though, the sound of a ball driving into the floor resounded in the gym.  _ “YES!” _ The two of them shouted at once, adrenaline pumping through Kageyamas veins. It was just like they were back in highschool, before the letter came and without a care in the world.

They played a few matches, half of the team was jerseys while the other half wasn’t. Kageyama, Hinata, Ennoshita, Tanaka, and Asahi were jerseys. The rest of the team were in whatever shirts they brought to the occasion on the other side of the net.

Later, after their second or third match there was an abrupt ring that resounded in the gym filled with huffing and gentle murmuring. They were taking a water break.

“Shou, your phone!” Yachi called as she tossed it to him, they were only a couple of feet away from each other and the guy had cat-like reflexes. He gave a nod of thanks as he answered.

“Colonel,” The voices in the gym hushed down. “Gee I wonder who warned you. I'm starting to think that you're illiterate with the rate you go through paperwork.” Tobio choked on his water. He had never really interacted with anybody in the military ranks, but he was positive it wasn’t supposed to be like whatever Hinata was doing. Tanaka snorted, and Tsukishima looked beyond amused. 

Hinata was rarely ever stone cold, it was usually when he  _ really  _ hated someone. For example, when Yachi’s boyfriend cheated on her in third year, (“You better tie your shoes or else you might trip and fall into another vagina”). It was funny really, how someone so happy and bright could flip their personality in a second. 

“How much time do I have?” A droned mumble was heard on the other side. After another moment or two he hung up, moving to go pack up his stuff in the backpack Kageyama had brought for their clothes. Tobios heart sank,  _ he was leaving again?  _

“Alright there, Hinata?” Daichis voice resonated through the gym.

“Fine, just getting sent up North tomorrow morning.”  _ Damn. _

“You just got back though?” Yachi pondered, trying in vain to hide her disappointment. All of the recently graduated third years had a group chat together since they formed a close bond over the years. Hinata must have shot out a message at some point letting them know he was home. Tobio really needed to start checking his phone more often.

“I know.” Hinata said “I signed up for this, though.” He said with a sad smile.

Kageyama was also packing up his stuff. “Why don’t you just resign then, dumbass?”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Nishinoya piped up

“I mean that they need me there. Alchemists are the dogs of the military,” He paused as he shucked his yellow hoodie over his sweaty t-shirt. “We get all the dirty work done.” 

\--

On the ride home, the hand on Hinata's thigh returned, and the fingers in between his own did too. On their mattress, with the moonlight seeping through their curtains, a gentle press of the lips - a mere butterfly kiss - was positioned on Hinata’s nape. Hinata, who was curled up in a ball, his back pressed against Kageyama's chest hoping to hide from the world.

“Tobio, I'm so  _ tired.”  _ Shouyou croaked, trembling with silent tears tracing their ways down his face.

“I know.” He didn’t, he could only pretend that he knew. He knew how overwhelmed and stretched thin Hinata was. He  _ knew  _ he was probably going to experience things he didn’t want to think about. He would trade anything in the world if he could just take away  _ half  _ of his pain.

Kageyama pressed his nose into those captivating curls, his fingers dancing softly along his hip bone. 

“Tobio?” It was watery, in a way that made his stomach churn. He hummed in response. “What are we?” Shouyou continued in a strained whisper “ _ Please,  _ I need to know.” His voice cracked and Kageyama stopped his fairy tickles against his hip in favor of cradling him with one arm against his chest.

“Whatever you want us to be.” This time, he pressed warm kisses to Shouyous jaw line. A sigh left the shorter one as he melted against the mattress, relishing the feeling of being cherished.

“When I come home, take me on a date.” Hinata whispered.

“It’ll be the best damn date you’ve ever been on.”

Hinata let out a watery laugh.

\--

The next day at the train station, Tobio pressed a kiss to the inside of Shouyous wrist and in return he received gentle kiss on the lips.

“Wait for me.” Hinata whispered against his lips, the train whistle crisp in the air signaling that the train would be leaving very soon.

“Always.” Tobio whispered back, taking in milky skin, hazelnut eyes, impossibly long eyelashes, and copper curls one last time before they would be separated once more for weeks on end.

As soon as the train left the station Kageyama felt a pang of loneliness,

_ Why did I have to fall in love with a military man? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, criticism and comments are much appreciated :)
> 
> Stay inside!! Be safe!!


	3. The things left unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama struggles with his feelings while dealing with an absence Shouyou. Snippets throughout the months Shouyou is gone.
> 
> Age: 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its hard to merge the two shows since one takes place in Germany, and the other takes place in Japan. Which is why I chose to just straight up put them in American culture, with Japanese names, but in an unknown land. I'm sorry if I offend anyone rip <3.
> 
> For this chapter I really wanted to focus on how the struggle is for people with loved ones who are deployed.

“So what- you guys, like,  _ kissed?” _ Yachi’s hands were on Kageyama's knees as he leaned against the couch cushions and threw an arm over his face.

“About damn time too-” Tsukishima grumbled. 

Yamaguchi nodded before adding unhelpfully, “Really, Tobio, It’s a wonder how you two haven’t already figured it out.” Kageyama grounded out a groan from the back of his throat. 

They were currently in Yachi’s house, which was considerably nicer than your average college dorm. She had gotten a full ride into a school about a half hour out from Kageyama's own school, it was a nice university and specialized in math and science. She was studying to be an architect, quite fitting considering her hobby with art and organization along with her stunning scores in math. Since she had so much money left over from college savings, she had invested in some petite and modest house that she shared with three other girls on school grounds. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Yachi was smiling and giddy “I’ve seen how you look at him. Besides, he could use a few good things coming his way right about now.”

He had spilled everything to the three of them over two boxes of pizza and a jug of apple juice. He talked about that one night the team had gotten together (“I put my hand on his thigh and  _ he put his hand on top of mine!”),  _

-and the way Hinata has let him hold him at night for the past two years (“I couldn’t tell if he just wanted comfort-” “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, king.”),

-and the night where Shouyou broke down (“He was so- so  _ tired. _ A-and he asked me to take him on a date when he got back,” “Well, what’d you say?” “What do you think I fucking said-!”) 

-and then finally the morning at the train station.

“I just don’t know where I take him!” Then in a quieter voice he added, “I don’t want to mess this up.” 

Tsukishima snorted, “You guys are basically already dating, there is absolutely no way you  _ could  _ mess this up.”

“Yeah,” Yachi pushed her tank-top back up her shoulder from where it was previously slipping down from, strands of hair falling out of her high pony along the way. “Shouyou will probably love whatever you put together for him, you know how excited he gets over little things.” Yamaguchi hummed in agreement and Tsukishima nodded.

They were all in their pajamas, having spent the whole weekend (Friday included) at Yachi’s house since it was Spring Break and the house was empty. Yachi herself was wearing a thin white tank top and a pair of silky shorts with little hearts dotted along them. She was practically a sister to them so despite the lack of clothing, it felt normal. Kageyama and Tsukishima were in sweats (Tobio with his shirt off, and the blond with a hoodie), while Yamaguchi had on some basketball shorts and a looney toons shirt. 

Yachi’s boyfriend of five months had stayed over for spring break too. He was currently working on some homework in her room (they were in the living room) and if he had a problem with her having a two day sleepover with three guys tripple her size then he hadn’t said anything about it. He was nice enough, and came down sometimes to come sit and talk with them.

“But that's just the thing!” Kageyama threw his hands up, “I want to do something  _ special  _ for him!”

“Sex.” Tsukishima said with an aggressive poker face. Yamaguchi and Kageyama threw a pillow at him at the same time. 

“He’s always out on these missions getting hurt, and-and fighting for his life,  _ protecting people-  _ and he never gets anything in return.”

“He doesn’t  _ expect _ to get anything in return.” Yamaguchi said softly. Suddenly Yachi’s boyfriend, Ezume, made his way down the staircase and beelined to the kitchen. Yachi perked up at the sudden appearance of him.

“Ezume!” She called, leaning back against the palms of her hands. 

“What’s up?” He was leaning against the entryway now, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. His dark brown hair was hidden by a backwards baseball hat, and he pushed up his classes with the tip of his middle finger.

“If you wanted to take someone somewhere special for your first date that you may or may not have already been sorta dating where would you take them? Also they’re in the military.”

“And they have curly hair.” Yamaguchi added

“And they’re a guy.” Yachi continued

“And their name is Hinata Shouyou.” Yamaguchi said with a grin

“And, since this is all _theoretical,_ your name is Kageyama Tobio.” Tsukishima finished off, 

Ezume raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, zeroing in on Kageyama. There was a stupid smile on his face that Tobio wanted to punch off of him. “ _ Well, _ if I just so happened to be Kageyama Tobio, theoretically of course, and I was taking a certain state alchemist out for a date-” He moved to plop himself besides Yachi on the rug, fiddling with the loose strands of golden hair splayed on her neck. She leaned into his touch subconsciously and Kageyama’s heart ached when he was reminded of how Hinata does when they’re alone, huddled together on their shitty mattress. “-Then I’d probably take him to that old cat cafe on route 32.”

Kageyama sat up a little straighter at the suggestion, with wide eyes.  _ Shouyou loved cats.  _ He remembered how Shouyou used to send Natsu off to school with cans of tuna so she could feed the stray cats she saw at school. He had always wanted one, too.

Yachi turned on him with star glazed eyes, “You're a  _ genius! _ ”

Why hadn’t he thought about that before? It was  _ perfect.  _

“Yeah, well, this genius is going to fail his psych class if he doesn’t start studying soon.” Ezume laughed, “See you guys later.”

“Thanks.” Kageyama said, breathless with anticipation as Ezume was making his way upstairs.

“Good luck on your date.” The other boy responded and Tobio nodded, face set in deep thought about how his execution of said plan was going to play out 

\--

Shouyou had been gone for a long time, they were inching toward the fourth week of his absence when Kageyama had suddenly gotten a call around 3pm on a warm spring afternoon. He had definitely  _ not  _ almost shattered his coffee cup on the floor when he heard the familiar chime. (Kageyama always had his phone out whenever Hinata was away, waiting to hear his familiar voice.)

Truth was, he had been more on edge than he usually is for the past few weeks. Now, he not only had to worry about his best friend's life but also his  _ boyfriend's  _ life. Which drew Kageyama to his next question- were they even boyfriends? Did Shouyou actually want to be with him like that or was he just testing the waters? They hadn’t even been on a  _ date _ , yet only two weeks ago he had to shove down the desire to tell him _ I love you _ before Hinata hung up. 

_ God,  _ everything was so jumbled together.

“Hi.” Shouyous soft voice rang through the receiver. Hinata usually never called during missions unless he ended up at a hospital of some sort (which had only happened a handful of times so far but it still always put Kageyama into a fit of hysterics whenever it did). This was the  _ third  _ time he had called in five weeks, and it made a disgusting amount of warmth bubble in his chest after he took a moment to realize that Shouyou was calling him because this was his way of commiting to Tobio when he was away.

“Hey.” Kageyama said, “How's the mission?” It was a tentative question, one that only Tobio was ever allowed to ask. Regardless of the fact, he usually only got a real response about 50% of the time.

He heard a soft sigh on the other side of the line “We're supposed to be here until things clear up.” He sounded upset. “I don’t think I’ll be home for awhile.”

Kageyama hummed softly in acknowledgement, ignoring the block of disappointment settling in his stomach. “What’s going on up there?” He tried. He was always trying,  _ trying  _ to get even a hint about what kind of shit-storm Hinata was involved in.  _ Trying  _ to get him to open up because he heard somewhere that people with PTSD often hold in their trauma until they can't anymore. Even though (as far as he knew) Shouyou had never been tested for PTSD he was fairly sure anybody who spent a week with the two of them could diagnose him. From the paranoia, night terrors, panic attacks, the  _ paranoia,  _ the  _ night terrors,  _ the  _ panic attacks- _

There was a beat of silence, long enough for Kageyama to realize he probably wasn’t going to get an answer and was just about to change the subject before -unexpectedly- Hinata broke the silence. “‘Bout half a year ago I was dealing with some- some  _ sick  _ Alchemist who was specializing in human experimentation. You know, making chimeras.” Tobio felt ice shoot down his spine at those words  _ ‘human experimentation’  _ , he shook his head trying to stomach the thought of it.

“He got away, but I...I dealt with the chimeras.” Kageyama remembered how the lady at the diner had obsessed over his run in with chimeras, but that was out East. And now he was up North so he couldn’t  _ possibly see where this was going- _

“I filled out paperwork for him and sent it out for somebody else at central to deal with,” Tobio remembered Shouyous talk with the Colonel during the night of the team meet up. A pool of dread filled his stomach,  _ Oh. _

“And nobody did?” Kageyama guessed. Hinata let out a noise of confirmation. “So he made more?” There was another noise of confirmation.

“An army.” Shouyou said softly. “The city’s crawling with them.” Tobio took in a shuddering breath,  _ Oh god. _

“Promise me you’ll be careful?” He was gripping the phone with both hands now, like he was afraid it was going to disappear. He had seen the newspaper articles on the chimeras before, he had seen how unpredictable and violent they were on the news. Not only that but these were  _ human  _ based chimeras. They’d probably be more intelligent, strategical. “ _ Please,  _ promise me you'll come back home.” His voice cracked and he probably sounded desperate and beyond pathetic but he could care less.

“I will,” Shouyou said, his voice thick with emotion “I promise.” Just then there was a shout on the other side of the line and there was a sound of shuffling before Shouyou spoke again, “I have to go, I’m sorry.” 

_ Damn. _ It had only been, what- 10 minutes? No, less than.

“Be careful.”

“I know.”

“Shouyou?” He swallowed, “I…” I love you,  _ I love you,  _ **_I love you_ **

“I-I miss you.” Kageyama internally kicked himself, and dragged a hand down his face,  _ Why was he so bad at this? _

“I miss you too,” Shouyou said softly, “Goonight, Tobio.” The receiver clicked, signaling that the call had ended. The sound stabbed through Kageyama's chest, a pang of loneliness sharp in his heart. 

Now he knew why he was never told about the missions. He knew Shouyou was trying to keep him from worrying himself sick but he didn’t  _ realize… _

On one hand, he was glad Shouyou had opened up to him about such a horrifying mission. I mean, for  _ fucks  _ sake- they were exterminating  _ human  _ chimeras. They weren’t just two animals stuck together, part of these things were humans who could talk, and  _ feel.  _ He couldn’t even imagine the heavy emotion burden that it would push onto somebody's shoulders to mindlessly kill dozens of those things every day. Kageyama can’t imagine what the nightmares would be like once he got back.

But on the other hand the idea of his  _ tiny  _ Shou battling these blood-thirsty monsters made him want to yank him out of the North and bring him home. His stomach churned at how nasty the injuries could be resulting from the beasts. Oh god, the  _ death toll- _

Kageyama shook his head and resisted the nausea curling in his stomach. He comforted himself with the idea that he was up there with Alchemists from all throughout the country before colliding on their mattress, homework forgotten on the kitchen table.

_ He must be trying to be more honest with me  _ Kageyama thinks. In any other situation Hinata would have passively answered his questions, but not this time.  _ Don’t fuck this up. _ He reminded himself before throwing the heavy lavender blanket over his head to drown out the nonexistent sounds of reality.

\--

Kageyama was well acquainted with the Hinata family, in fact he was more acquainted with them than he was with his own family. Some would consider that disrespectful but in all honestly he was never really that well acquainted with his family to begin with. In highschool he had hated both his mother and father but after he matured enough to take a look at the bigger picture, he realized his dad was just trying to do what was best for the two of them. (he still had a dislike for his mother though)

His dad worked night and day, working in some fancy office while his mom was a blackout drunk who left them to go have an affair with some homeless guy. He hasn’t heard from her since he was 14. The office job that his dad worked meant that he was never home. Always away on business trips more often than not, always deciding to stay at hotels nearby than coming home. Of course, the job had rolled in a hefty income but with that Tobio was forced to raise himself. He was bitter for a long time, not because he was some brat who wanted attention but because he simply missed his dad. Hell, he barely  _ knew  _ his dad before Tobio finally reached out to suggest that they have dinner once a month. 

Before, Kageyama had no friends and nobody to really call family but that all changed in highschool. He would sleep over every other day at Hinata's house, helping out with dinner, chores, and babysitting Natsu. He even had his own house key, and by the time their third year rolled around, he was allowed to go in and out of the Hinata household as he pleased. Hinata’s mother had grown used to his presence whether it be announced or not. 

It was depressing to know that a place felt like home that was never even his to begin with. All in all, Kageyama found himself visiting the Hinatas more often than he visited his dad. Today was one of those days, It was still early on in summer so the weather was more on the warm side rather than the unbearably hot i-can't-breathe side. Yet, the house was still muggy with sticky heat. Hinata's mother was cooking lunch -(and she was an excellent cook)- but today was really not the day to be making stew and fried fish. Later in the afternoon (around 3:30) both the Hinatas and Kageyama would be heading over to a local music festival where Natsu would be performing at around 4:30.

Turns out, she had a real knack for singing. She had shown interest in music for as long as Tobio had known her but he didn’t expect her to form a band. The first time Natsu and her band had performed had actually been back in March, a couple of days after Hinata left for the mission he was currently on. Since then they had performed a grand total of 6 times. This would chalk up the second time Tobio would be attending one of the performances.

(Natsu had cried when she heard Shouyou wouldn’t be there to see her very first performance)

Overall, they were a pretty good band for being made up of a bunch of 12 and 13 year olds. Natsu was the lead singer, with two guitarists, a girl on the drums, and another girl on the  _ Ewi  _ or whatever the fuck it was called.

Natsu’s appearance had also changed over the years, she mostly opted for dark shirts and ripped jeans now instead of her previous and overall more… innocent appearance (for lack of better words). One thing she refused to change though was her hair. She had grown it out since he had first seen her back in his first year, since she was 7. Now she was 12, almost 13 with her birthday coming up in August, and her hair fell to the small of her back in a lovely orange blossom color (kind of like Shouyous before his faded down to a darker tone).

Despite her futile attempts to avoid the topic of her missing brother, Kageyama knew how much it affected her. The Hinata family had lost a handful of relatives during a New Years party to a fire back when Natsu had just been born. Hinata's father had been one of them, he went back in for his brother (Shouyous uncle) and the building collapsed on top of him. Shouyou had been the only father figure Natsu had ever known from the very beginning.  _ Hell _ , he had practically raised her and Tobio knew first hand just how much to have a parental figure suddenly get up and leave. To her, it probably felt like Shou had abandoned her, like he tossed her aside as soon as he was old enough to get up and leave the house. She probably didn't fully understand exactly  _ what  _ she was feeling. 

All of this Kageyama concluded when Natsu threatened to punch her hairdresser in the face after she cut off more than she thought was necessary (about 5 centimeters). It had happened a few weeks ago but Tobio still heard about it from the queen of the household, Mrs.Hinata. Tobio knew  _ exactly  _ why Natsu kept her hair so long. It wasn’t because it was gorgeous and thick, with ripples of waves sticking out when the light hit it just right - it was because of Shouyou. 

Everyday, for as far back as he could remember, Natsu would beg her older brother to do her hair. Hinata would always respond by patting a chair in front of the kitchen table and scurrying away to go collect a couple of hair bands scattered mindlessly around the house and a brush. Eventually, Natsu started coming to him with the hair ties in one hand and a brush in another.

In their first year, Natsu's hair was too short to put in braids so he would get creative with the hairstyles. For a while there it was ponytails, or little pigtails (that was, until Natsu got sick of them of course.) When she began to voice her complaints Shou would always feed the fire by teasing her,

_ “What else am I supposed to do with his bed head?” _ And when Natsu started to get upset he would promise that,  _ “When your hair gets longer I can make you a pretty braid” _

Eventually as the years dragged on, Natsu stopped begging and everyday before school Hiata would settle her in a chair in front of the kitchen table. It became a routine. As promised, as her hair got longer, Hinata got used to braiding and every morning after that she would run off into the school yard with a pretty fishtail braid sailing behind her. At first, Kageyama knew it was to help out his mom but as time passed it genuinely became a hobby for him. He even went as far to ask for a few tips from Yachi.

But that was then and this was now. Natsu refused to cut her hair because from it stemmed the only real bond she had to her brother. He never really called the Hinata household and because of that he left an unnecessary gaping hole in Natsu's life. So she reflected her emotions to the world by changing her clothes, painting her nails black, wearing eyeliner, and starting her very own rock band. But she never cut her hair- only daring to go in for the occasional trim once or twice a year.

_ “Tobio!” _ Hinata's mother called, “I need some help in the kitchen, please.” On his way to the kitchen Kageyama passed Natsu's room where she was carefully applying her cateye, with her hair tangled in a messy bun. He smiled to himself, it was almost like he was watching his own baby sister grow up before his very eyes. 

_ God,  _ he had  _ really  _ softened up after highschool.

With a blink of the eye she had gone from a little girl demanding to pet peoples dogs to a pain-in-the-ass preteen demanding for people's respect. So, as he passed the door he gave a three finger tap on the doorframe, in which she responded with a smile that Kageyama just barely caught out of the corner of his eye. 

“Come here, my boy.” Mrs. Hinata said with affection. She was one of the toughest women -no-  _ people  _ Kageyama had ever had the pleasure of getting to know. “Would you mind keeping this stew turning while I fix the fish?” She asked, already thrusting the wooden spoon into his hand. 

“Not a problem.” Here in this household, Tobio was treated as a part of the family. Natsu treated him like her own brother just as Mrs.Hinata treated him like a son. Unfortunately that came with arm pinches and scoldings, he didn’t mind though. Afterall, with the affection of a mother's love came the wrath of it. Kageyama thought he knew what being afraid felt like until he experienced Mrs.Hinata's anger for the first time.  _ Never again. _

  
  


Without looking his way the widow spoke in a soft voice, “Has Shouyou called you at all?”  _ Ah  _ So that's why he was called to the kitchen, so Natsu couldn't eavesdrop. 

“Yeah, the fourth time was a couple of days ago.” The woman before him was still tense and Kageyama guessed she wanted more context. “He’s okay, really.” He was reassured when he saw the doubt crawling into her features. “Have you seen the-” but he was cut off.

“-the news.” She finished. She had visibly deflated at the knowledge that her son was okay, but that didn’t keep the worry out of her features. “I know he talks to you, I mean  _ really  _ talks to you. I'm glad. all I get are some pathetic lies.” Kageyama nodded, understanding but still sensing the waves of anxiety rolling over her.

“It's terrible up North.” He acknowledged. He had started watching the news a few weeks ago when the situation up North started to take a turn for the worst. The government had decided to make it known to the public when it became clear that the situation wasn’t something they could keep quiet for very much longer. Every afternoon (12-2) they would get details and live footage of the once densely populated city of Kita and the crumbling remains of it.

Apparently they had yet to catch the mastermind behind the disaster. There were hundreds of chimeras slinking around the city, it was almost unimaginable to think that somebody could get away with such a horrific event. According to the government he was relying on the people inside the city borders- once even turning a few State Alchemists on patrol after an unexpected ambush. Most citizens had made it out alive but for the 12 dozen that hadn’t, well, at this point they were just ammunition for the other side. 

Hinata's mother scoffed, “That is the weakest description I’ve heard yet.” She then slapped his hand, “I said stir, yes?” At some people he must have stopped stirring, though he doesn’t remember when.

“Does Natsu know?” Kageyama asked.

“I don’t let her watch the news anymore, but there's no doubt she's heard about it from school or that damn phone of hers.”

Kageyama frowned, and chose his next words carefully after a beat of silence. “You can’t shelter her forever, you know.” When Mrs.Hinata said nothing he continued in a tentative voice, “I can’t imagine how it would feel having to rely on some kids at school just so you can decide if your brothers _ safe  _ or not-”

“Don’t you think I know that?!” She snapped, slamming her hands down on the kitchen countertop.

“Mom…?” Natsu’s weary voice arose from behind them. The two of their heads snapped in the direction the voice came from. A pit of dread wallowed in Kageyama's stomach.

“Natsu!” Her mother whirled around, “How long have you been there, child?” Natsu hesitated, teetering from foot to foot.  _ She had heard everything _

Kageyama turned away and wiped a hand down his face, ashamed and filled with guilt.  _ Of course  _ he knew that Mrs.Hinata was aware of her actions. She wasn’t a fool. Now only that, but Natsu had overhead their entire conversation. 

“You know how disrespectful it is to eavesdrop!” Her mother continued, “Out! I don’t need children distracting me from my cooking!” Mrs.HInata yelled, staring pointedly at the two of them. Natsu hesitated and it was only when she got hit over the head by a towel that she made her escape. Just as Kageyama was following her out he gently put his hand on the fuming woman's arm. 

“I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have instigated, you're a smart woman.” he said and watched as her demeanor fell.

“And you are everything but wrong.” She sighed, “It’s selfish of me to keep things from her for my own comfort.” She took one of his hands in both of her own. “Forgive me, my son is practically knocking on the door of death, this is the last thing I can control.”

“It's far from selfish.” Tobio countered.

“Oh? What is it then?” A smile quirked at the tips of her mouth.

“Love.” Mrs.Hinata made a keening noise in the back of her throat before pulling him down for a bone-crushing hug which he returned, albeit more loosely.

“Oh Tobio.” She leaned back, hands gripping the side sides of his arms. “This family would be a catastrophe without you.” She sighed before suddenly hardening again, “Now out! You can barely stir a pot.” Kageyama retreated back to his original spot on the couch. A quick check on his phone confirmed that it was inching toward 11 oclock. Soon, the news would be starting their annual blow by blow of the situation up North. A light tread of footsteps grabbed his attention but he didn’t look up from his twitter feed until there was a dip in the couch beside him. He dropped his phone into his lap.

“Excited?” He asked, ruffling Natsu's hair.

She grinned up at him, “Yeah! We have some new songs that Kaze composed for us.”

“Is Kaze the girl that plays the  _ E-E?”  _ Natsu’s face wrinkled in disgust.

“First of all it's called an  _ Ewi _ and second of all, she composes all of our songs. She's awesome!” The band did covers of their own personal favorites. Honestly, most of the songs were rock and sounded like something straight from an anime but he couldn’t really judge considering he didn’t watch anime (He occasionally sat down with Hinata to watch Naruto). He couldn’t lie though, the songs they covered were cool as  _ hell. _

Natsu’s eyes shifted to the side for a moment, “I wish Shouyou was here.” She grumbled.  _ Me too. _

Kageyama poked her cheek, “Lighten up. He’ll be back before you know it.”

“Don’t lie.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I'm not.” he smiled as proof, “See? Smiling people don’t lie.”

She snorted, shoving him playfully, “You're so stupid.”

“ _ Ouch _ \- and your emo.”

When she kicked him in the shin he pretended to stagger with pain, “Such  _ violence! _ ” He said dramatically, loudly enough for Hinata's mother to hear.

“Natsu be  _ nice!!” _ She yelled from the kitchen warningly.

Natsu stuck her tongue out at him, “Your so stupid.” She repeated and he laughed. A comfortable silence settled between the two of them for a while. Soon, after Mrs.Hinata declared that dinner was ready, they were settled at the kitchen table. The food was excellent (as always) and Natsu shoveled all her food in her mouth at once ( _ as always _ ) before scurrying back to her room to finish getting ready.

As Kageyama helped with the pile of dishes, he spoke with a hesitant tone, almost like he was walking on glass, “Are we going to watch the news?”

Hinata's mother paused for a moment and Kageyama was afraid he struck another chord. “Yes, I suppose we will.” She tilted her head his way and smiled at him. He smiled back, warmth spreading through his chest.

Soon, the three of them were sitting side by side on the couch in front of the TV. Originally, Natsu hadn’t come, presumably thinking that Tobio had done nothing to convince her mother. But she quickly waved from her room, her mother scolding her along the way, (“Come on, lazy girl- since you didn’t help with the dishes the least you can do is spend some time with your guest and I!”)Kageyama had smiled knowing that that was Mrs.Hinata's own way of giving her daughter permission to watch the news.

The TV was on now and Tobio periodically checked his phone-

11:50

11:54

11:58

_ 11:59 _

-Before Mrs.Hinata had slapped his phone down to his lap, “Put that thing away boy! You're making  _ me  _ nervous.” He complied and slipped it back into his pocket then

Finally,  _ Finally- _

“Welcome back to your local news broadcast. I'm your host, Josei Hosuto, bringing you the 12 oclock news. Today;” The woman idly motioned to the left side of the screen with her pencil where a thumbnail was located, “We take a look at the once bustling city of Kita and how the collateral damage will affect its past residents and the State Alchemists on the front lines.” The woman flicked her eyes down at the papers on the desk before her. “Our very own, Nyuso Hito, brings you live footage from the outskirts of the city. The following clips may be disturbing and viewers discretion is advised, let's take a look.” 

The scene transitioned and before them stood a man, maybe in his late 30s, with salt and pepper hair and a black stubble brushing against his jaw. Natsu’s face twisted in her confusion and just as he opened his mouth to introduce himself she piped up, “Why did they send him out there if they know it's dangerous?” 

Her voice was overlapping with the mans and Kageyama fought annoyance down, “They’re called War Photographers,” He said quickly, “They document bad things so that we can see them.”

“Thats stupid.” Natsu decided before her eyes grew with alarmance, “...Is Shouyou in a war?!” 

“No!” Her mother snapped, “Now  _ hush. _ ”

Thank  _ God _ for Mrs. Hinata.

“-and as you can see the extensive damage done to the city is creating unstable conditions for the Alchemists to work in.” He pointed to a section of the city that was a mere wasteland of debris. The man was inside the city itself but far from the center of it where the main extremities were taking place, he was being led by two Alchemists who looked two seconds from choking him. Despite the absence of citizens, there was no silence. The city was filled with rumbles and explosions. Sometimes, a particular sharp gust of wind brought a collection of dust and pebbles. It looked  _ devastating.  _ (Kageyama was secretly disappointed to see that Hinata was not the one leading the journalist.)

A crackle and sharp snap erupted in the air, the distant sound of destruction soon followed. The journalist sounded almost giddy when he swerved the camera toward the area of destruction. Despite the protests of the Alchemists that - _ Please sir, we must keep moving-  _ The photographer zoomed in his fancy camera and there, probably a good 200 feet in between two apartment buildings was a thick beam, clearly made with Earth alchemy and-

-and littered with specks of  _ color- _

Kageyama's breath caught in his throat,  _ No! _

There, running across the platform in unclear, grainy footage, was an alchemist with familiar copper red curls flying behind him.

“Here we have caught a battle with- with the _Jade Alchemist-!”_ The journalist was breathless with sick excitement that made Tobio wish he could strangle him. Kageyama wanted to scream when Shouyou just narrowly avoided getting sliced as he ducked under the beefy arm of the chimera. It was an ugly thing, nearly triple Shouyous size with bulky, rough skin. And yet there it was being pitted up against _his_ Shou.

There was another sharp crackle of alchemy as he pressed his hands to the side of the beast with his millisecond opening his reflexes had earned him, it was an attempt to knock it off balance. The things claws caught on his skin though and Tobio saw him stagger for a second. In the background he was aware of the man still talking rapidly, describing the battle like they couldn’t see it on the screen before them.

The chimera was strong, but Shouyou was faster, more agile. He dodged and landed blows on every opening he got, with another cackle of sound he saw a well trained hand swipe cuts with a newly formed dagger along the beast. It was agonizing to watch, Shouyous body twisting in the air, making new beams so he could leap from spot to spot, making every use of his speed as possible. It seemed like the chimera couldn’t get even a millisecond of air, Hinata's tight form didn’t let him.

“Why doesn’t he just stab it!?” Natsu demanded, fear edging her voice. Kageyama didn’t remember when Mrs.Hinata's hand started gripping his knee with knuckle-white fear.

“He can’t.” Tobio breathed, his eyes never leaving the figure on the screen. 

“What do you mean he can’t!?” Her voice cracked. “Why can’t he?”

“He’s smart enough to know that he can’t take down that thing alone like that.” Tobio swallowed, and Mrs.Hinata cried out when the Chimera’s claws slid across Shouyous side like butter. Shouyou never faltered though, slowly working down the beast's endurance before-!

“-And the Jade Alchemist uses his alchemy and speed to his advantage by wearing down the Chimera down slowly-”

A beam shot up from beneath his hands before he takes a leap, boots colliding with the chimera's face effectively knocking it off balance. Strandling the thing now he clapped his hands together one last time. He places them on either side of the animal's neck and there's a sudden crackle of alchemy and a flash of light  _ and _ -!

And then it’s dead. It was over just like that. Kageyama knew it had only been maybe two or three minutes but it had felt like triple the amount. As the camera zoomed in impossibly further, he began to realize that there was a spike protruding from the neck of the chimera, the tip piercing the empty air around it.  _ Oh god. _

Kageyama just needed to see-  _ needed to see that he was okay,  _ but he only got a fleeting glimpse of Shouyou standing up and adjusting his gloves as he began to cross his self-made bridge to the other building. The cameraman was being tugged in the opposite direction now, the alchemists beyond irritated no doubt with paranoia and annoyance.

“-An astounding battle won by none other than the Jade Alchemist--” The TV turned black suddenly. Kageyama didn’t remember when he grabbed the remote. There was tense silence ringing through the living room.

“I knew there was nothing to worry about.” Natsu said suddenly, her voice wobbly with some sort of emotion that Kageyama didn’t have the energy to name. “He kicks  _ ass!” _ Kageyama let out a sudden breath of laughter, and Mrs.Hinata teetered a smile.

“Did you see how he...!” She demonstrated with a flail of fists and limbs, “And how he-” She pretended to use alchemy by clapping her hands together and flailing them out infront of her. She went on and on and  _ on  _ about how  _ awesome  _ her brother was, and Kageyama was glad that she did because he couldn’t seem to get rid of the knot pressing up against his chest.

They went to the festival and even while Mrs.Hinata and himself were wandering around for an hour until the show started they didn’t talk about it. He didn’t expect them to, anyway. Natsu performed and Tobio vaguely remembers cheering and smiling and taking pictures.

Only when he got home did he let out a painful sob that had been building in his chest for God knows how long. Tobio cried, sobs echoing through the empty apartment and even though he lay bundled in that thick wool blanket the mattress still felt cold beside him.

Kageyama was scared. Not of Shouyou, no, he could never be afraid of him. Kageyama was afraid  _ for  _ him.

\--

It was inching toward nearly 10, maybe 11 weeks (He had stopped tracking the days long ago) before Kageyama got the call. Hinata had left in March and now it was June. Maybe it had been 12 weeks, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that Shouyou - _ his  _ Shou- was finally home (and that he just ran a red light)

He pulled recklessly into a parking spot, earning a few honks along the way but Kageyama didn’t care. He had been having lunch with Yachi and Yamaguchi when an ever so familiar ringtone chimed, he had his phone pressed to his ear before even  _ an eighth  _ of the ringtone had played. He had been hoping,  _ hoping  _ that he was coming home. He had prayed, and crossed his fingers with every call he answered from Shouyou when  _ finally- _

“I just got to the station-” Hinata's voice was emotional and wrung out and he sounded so so  _ tired  _ and Kageyama was already halfway to his car, a 10 slapped on the table behind him as he thanked his two friends behind him for lunch.

And now he was here, running the fastest he’s ever run across a parking lot to greet his- his _ Shouyou.  _ He’s not sure he even locked the his car doors, but that didn’t matter because Hinata-

There were so many people getting off, civilians and military personnel alike, all of the blue uniforms mashed into one big blob. Usually he was able to pick out Hinata in a flash- but a mission, a battle if you will, was just won only days ago by hundreds of state alchemists and soldiers across the  _ nation _ . The train station was crawling with dozens of those royal blue uniforms and Kageyama was pushing past them trying, trying,  _ trying- _

Until he saw him. It was like everything was in slow motion when Tobio saw him, standing off to the side at the station, looking as beautiful as ever with the sun glazing over his features. He couldn’t move fast enough as he stumbled over peoples feet, pushed his way through, throwing half-hearted apologies behind him until-

_ “Tobio.”  _

The kiss was searing, burning every part of his body as his hands caught Shouyous own, both of which were curled around his face. It was a kiss full of everything that Tobio had been wanting to say- that he’d been wanting to  _ give  _ to him since he had left. Finally,  _ finally  _ he felt whole for the first time in weeks, as he broke away pressing his forehead against Hinatas. 

“Hey-  _ Hey, hey” _ There were tears rolling down Kageyama's cheeks that he hadn’t even realized had started. Hinata was brushing them away with his thumbs, his own eyes glazed over with emotion. Emotion that Tobio knew he would never betray in public because he was still in uniform and that made Kageyama's heart  _ ache.  _ Ache for everything that he had done, that he had been through, Ache for everything that he would never have, Ache for everything that he has ever  _ seen.  _

“I love you.” Tobio whispered.  _ “ _ I  _ love you,  _ Shouyou.” He gathered him up in his arms and pressed his face into the mop of curls on his head. He could feel Hinata's hands gripping his jacket.

“I love you too” Shouyou echoed as he pulled him down by the neck for another searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the date! Thank you for reading! Comments and criticism are welcomed (seriously I love reading your comments). I reflected Mrs.Hinata off my own mom :).
> 
> Kita= North  
> Nyuso Hito= News person  
> Josei Hosuto= host lady (yes i am aware i wrote the character as male lol)
> 
> Anyway, I'm not very creative as you can tell lmaoo


	4. Low dipping stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long online school has been surprisingly kicking my ass haha.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Nightmares, panic attacks, talks of depressive episodes and PTSD
> 
> I wanted to focus on PTSD that Hinata probably has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send some prompts I'm running out of chapter ideas ahhhhhfs

A low hum on the radio filtered through the comfortable silence settling through the car. They were on their way home from the train station, Hinata's bag thrown somewhere in the backseat and their hands locked against the spikers thigh. “Are you hungry?” Kageyama asked softly.

Upon arriving inside the car, Tobio saw how tired Hinata actually was. He looked drained, dark bags engraved into his face and eyes empty and unsure. His body posture was shifty and strained like he desperately wanted to relax but couldn’t. Kageyama didn’t expect anything less from the months taken from him. If the paranoia hadn’t already settled Tobio knew it would soon. Once, after he was away on a mission involving…  _ something _ , he had slept with a knife under his pillow for weeks- opting for sleeping on the couch instead of their makeshift bed. Hinata was staring out the window now, gripping Kageyama's hand like a life. 

“Shou,” Tobio said, glancing over briefly. He hadn't indicated that he had heard him the first time, and if he had he hadn't answered.

“Huh?” Hinata startled out of his trance, “Oh- no, I’m fine.” He turned his body to face Kageyama and for the better part of 15 minutes, the car ride was silent. Kageyama’s hand was being gripped by  _ both  _ of Shouyous hands now.

“Tobio?”

“Hm?”

“I’m tired.” Kageyama blinked at that,  _ Of course, he was tired. _

“Then go to sleep, idiot.” He teased lightly but as soon as he looked over his heart clenched at the sight of Hinata’s red-rimmed eyes. 

“I’m tired,” Hinata said again, voice wavering the slightest. Kageyama struggled to decipher exactly what he meant. 

_ Is he sleep-tired or- or- _

He hesitantly took his eyes off the road once more to scan the others physical features. He was still tense, and his lip was bleeding from where he was biting it. His eyes remained open and glassy with… with some sort of emotion, Tobio couldn’t seem to place. His grip on his hand was leaving his knuckles white with effort and-  _ oh. _

He was afraid. So he was  _ tired-tired. _

“Then go to sleep,” He said again, “I’m not going anywhere.” They were at a red light now so in a quieter voice -a mere whisper- he added as he reached over to brush his knuckles on the side of Hinata's face, “Nobody can hurt you here. You’re safe.”

Hinata's face melted at Kageyama’s touch and his posture seemed to as well. Hinata slumped against the window, his eyes closed and face relaxed. His hands were still wound around, cupping around Tobio’s bigger hand. Although Tobio knew he wasn’t really asleep he was still careful to not jostle the car too much on turns or speed bumps.

Here, where Hinata's small hands were barely able to cover Tobios one hand, was the same boy that had battled for his life every other week. He had seen unimaginable things, he had killed and hurt people with the same hands that had saved people. He was a  _ State Alchemist,  _ a major in the military- he was respected countrywide because of his reputation to get things done quickly and quietly. 

It was funny really, how such a dainty person with soft curls, peachy lips, and Naruto pins clipped onto his favorite jacket was so capable of kicking  _ ass.  _ And he loved him, he loved him for being so strong all the time even when he didn’t have to be. He loved him for being only soft with  _ him  _ nowadays- for being able to open up only to  _ him.  _ Maybe it was selfish, but right now Kageyama was the only person Shouyou trusted enough to be asleep in the same room with (It was always one step forward and three steps back). There had been such a sharp change in behavior ever since he enlisted, he started having crippling trust issues and problems with strangers. The real Shouyou always burned through at some point or another though, it just took a couple of days of adjusting after missions. 

In high school it was almost the complete opposite, Kageyama had been the one with trust issues. He had only been himself around Shouyou at first and even after he had created a bond with the rest of the first years later on he still only let Hinata sit next to him on the bus. He had only accepted sleepover invites from Hinata, he was only ever  _ tolerant _ with him. Hinata had been the only person to ever  _ truly _ understand Kageyama for a while there. He was angry and sad in highschool- scratch that, he was angry and sad his  _ whole  _ life. He was angry at his mom, his dad, the world and  _ himself.  _ Sad because of his utter loneliness and isolation that was served at school and home. Funny how things change with just the slightest bit of kindness. 

“Hinata,” Kageyama said, they had just pulled into the parking lot. “We’re home.” From there, Tobio had taken Shouyou’s duffle bag and they made their way to their floor. Luckily, the elevator was working this time so the walk from the car to their apartment wasn’t any more than five minutes. They had held hands the entire way, Hinata was gripping his hand tightly like he was afraid he was going to disappear and Kageyama let him. 

The door unlocked and swung open with a familiar click and Hinata relaxed the slightest upon being in a familiar area, a safe space. Hinata peeled off his gloves and shrugged off his royal blue jacket. He usually takes off his jacket on the train ride home, this time he didn’t. “Let me take that,” Kageyama said, his hand already stretched out. Hinata handed him his jacket hesitantly as he squatted down to unlace his boots.

“Thank you.” He said and Kageyama responded with a hum as he went to organize Shouyous stuff in their room. Shouyou made his way to their room eventually, and when he did Tobio looked away with a red face. He was still in uniform, some ridiculous cat socks on along with his uniform blue pants and his black turtleneck. Like always, his top was bringing out every dip and contrast in his body and (like always) Tobio couldn’t help but stare. 

Shouyou made his way across the room to Kageyama. He hadn’t showered yet and smelled like gunpowder and smoke from the battlefield still. Kageyama swallowed thickly, Hinata’s soulless eyes drilled into his own.

“I missed you, Shou,” Tobio said, bringing his hand up to brush an out of place curl out of his face. It was unsettling, how still his face was. It was like Hinata was a puppet forgotten by its puppet master. Limp and still, lifeless and silent. The silence was unbearably loud between then without warning, Shouyou’s mask started to crumble. Kageyama saw the first piece fall, then a second and a third. Emotion pushed through every opening it got, gathering tears in Shouyou’s eyes. Kageyama would have missed the first tear when it fell if he had blinked, it was wiped away in a flash like it wasn’t even there. 

“Shouyou?” Tobio asked softly, he wiped away his tears with the inside of his wrist quickly but it was in vain. More traced their way down his face, collecting at his chin splattering to the floor. Kageyama’s heart twisted with emotion,  _ this- _

-This is what he was so desperate to hide at the train station, in the car. The emotion he had been trying to hold back, silent yet burdening. He looked so small (smaller than he usually does), with his back pressed against the vast and empty space of their room, red-rimmed eyes- eyes that were so haunted and hurt. Here he was ripping apart at the seams and Kageyama could do nothing but stare at the beautiful boy in front of him break down. The room was thick with something that Kageyama couldn’t quite place, the eerie silence and the silent tears making their way down his face.

Hinata stumbled forward suddenly, body heaving with emotion as he gripped the front of Kageyama’s shirt, whose arms flew out suddenly to steady him. His eyes were shattered, mere fragments of unrecognizable emotion tearing throughout them, a glaze of tears clouding over the pieces.

Tobio swallowed the lump in his throat, “ _ Shou-” _

And then the first audible sob ripped through Shouyou’s body. Then another, and another and  _ another- _

The smell of sulfur and ash curled around Kageyama as he cradled Hinata to his body. 

\--

Tobio's eyes slowly adjusted to the lowlighting of their room, they fluttered around as he groggily tried to process just exactly what the hell had woken him up. He squinted into the blinding red light searing his eyes as he attempted to read the numbers on their alarm clock beside the mattress.

It had been almost a week and a half since Hinata had gotten home. The nightmares had been just as corrupted as Kageyama predicted, the paranoia was even worse. Once, a couple of days ago, Yamaguchi had come for a surprise visit to see how the two of them were doing. The knock had startled him and since their door didn’t have a peephole he readily grabbed a kitchen knife and swung the door open. Even after it was confirmed that it  _ was _ Yamaguchi he kept the knife in the sleeve of his hoodie and when Tobio pulled him aside asked why he only responded with  _ ‘Just in case’.  _

The nightmares, on the other hand, are just as horrifying as predicted. Hinata never talked about them, it wasn’t like he ever talked at all after them anyways. It hurt, to see him so fragile and startled in a place where he was supposed to feel safe. After around a year working for the state, Kageyama had started to categorize the nightmares he witnessed. Some nights, he wouldn’t even be able to gather enough coherency to realize where he was. Those nights, he talked and talked and  _ talked,  _ hoping to drag him out of his trance. If he got lucky, he would be able to coax Shouyou into holding his hand.

Other nights, much like tonight, Kageyama would find the mattress next to him cold. These nights were less common than the other nights. These nights involved strangled breaths and lost eyes and small hands clutching at his shirt, wordlessly  _ begging _ to be grounded but not exactly sure how to ask. Usually, he would find him in the kitchen, huddled on the ground or attempting to cook to get rid of the skin-tight feeling.

Tobio sat up and took a moment to gather himself before throwing the lavender blanket off of himself to search for his boyfriend. Technically, they started dating back in March so Kageyama supposes they’ve been together for about four months. On the other hand, they had only really been  _ physically  _ together as boyfriends for about a week and a half. Either way, they were dating though and that was  _ more  _ than enough for Tobio. Their relationship was good, they complimented each other well, whether they were boyfriends or not

Where Shouyou was weaker with PTSD, Tobio was there to stabilize him. Where Tobio struggled with depressive episodes and  _ endless _ stress, Shouyou was there to help him function. Not only that but he was also pretty good at cooking (his mother taught him) and it was honest to God a blessing whenever he made anything, even if it was just some toast.

He had made his journey throughout the house before landing in front of the bathroom door, the shower was running. After calling his name a few times (with no luck), he decided to invite himself in. Upon opening the door his heart damn near tore itself in two at the sad sight in front of him. Shouyou was sitting under the stream of the shower, his knees drawn up to his chest and head tucked. He was shivering, his curls plastering to his forehead and the back of his neck. His clothes were still on.

“Hinata-!” Tobio shouted. He was worried-  _ beyond  _ worried and for some reason that turned into anger, “You dumbass got out of the-!” He stopped himself short as he scrambled to Shouyous side, his head had picked up at Kageyama's shout but his eyes were clouded over with unseeing confusion and dullness. Quickly, he turned the shower off but flinched when his arm hit the stream. 

The water had been fucking  _ freezing. _

Kageyama quickly peeled off Hinata's soaking wet shirt before peeling off his hoodie to shuck it on the alchemist. Hinata's sweats and boxers soon added to the growing pile of soaking wet clothing on the bathroom tile. Tobio yanked a towel down from its place on the hook against the wall and wrapped it around him. 

“Hinata what the  _ fuck-” _ Something was burning behind his eyes. As he pulled Shouyou against his chest and his sopping wet hair pressed against his bare chest, Kageyama flinched at the cold. “How  _ long _ -” He began running his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from its place stuck against his forehead. His teeth were chattering and his lips were tinted blue. He was shivering still and was staring blankly at the wall, his head resting against Tobio’s chest.

Shouyou took in a staggered breath before letting it out far too quickly, “I saw-” His voice was slurred and barely above a whisper. “I needed…” His voice trailed off and instead of finishing he pressed his face into Tobios chest, his whole body shuddering.

“Ok, Ok-” Kageyama gathered the rest of his small body into his arms. He was so  _ cold-  _ “It’s okay, just breathe.” He stood up, careful not to bang Hinata's head on the doorway. Kageyama quickly picked his way into their bedroom, flicking the lights on as soon as he dumped the other onto the mattress. Shouyou was tumbling through his breaths now, bunching up the material in front of the hoodie Tobio had given him in his hands.

_ “ _ Breath, Shou _ ”  _ Kageyama reminded him every other second, as he dragged dry boxers and a pair of sweats over his lower half. 

_ “Yama-” _ Shouyou drew in a ragged breath but not too soon afterward came out a strangled cry.

“I know, I know.” He said as he lay down on his side with Hinata, pulling the lavender blanket over the two of them. They weren’t touching, but Kageyama was close enough to feel his stuttering breaths tickle his face. Kageyama offered his hand but instead of smaller hands expectantly grabbing his they started gripping at Tobios shoulder, pulling weakly.

In a short circuit moment, Tobio threw his arm over Shouyous chest but when he got a garbled response he immediately tried to retract it, which earned him a frustrated sob. “ _ Tobio-” _ He said again, voice distressed and strained. Kageyama choked back the nameless emotion threatening to portray itself on his face. He didn’t know  _ what  _ Shouyou wanted, what he  _ needed. _

“I’m sorry, I know.” He didn’t know, not really anyways. Not being able to help Shou made him feel useless and twisted in the gut. “You have to breathe so you can tell me what you want, Shou.” Kageyama knew that he knew that, he wasn’t stupid. And yet here he was, talking to him like he was some sort of child.

“It’s okay, Shouyou.” He said again when the other tried to pull in a breath and failed miserably. The tugging at his shoulder continued weakly. “You’re alright.”

_ “Please-” _ a broken sob.

“I don’t know what you want,” Kageyamas voice cracked,  _ fuck. _ He needed to be there for Hinata right now, he needed to be okay for just a few more minutes. “I'm- I'm sorry”

After a couple of more minutes of miscommunication, Tobio had managed to grasp Shouyous attention long enough to enable him to take  _ real  _ breaths. Though his breaths were still shaky and unsteady at the very least his lungs were fucking functioning and you know,  _ doing their job. _

A couple of more steady breaths were taken in, the incoherent tugging at his shoulder had never stopped. Kageyama placed his hand over Hinatas while ignoring the stinging behind his eyes. “Okay, what do you need?” He said softly. The other's mouth opened and closed with a furrowed eyebrow.

“Can y-you lay?” He croaked weakly, words stringy and sluggish. “On-” Tobio waited patiently as he struggled to get the words out. “On me?”

_ What-? _

“I don’t want to hurt you,” He said steadily, failing to hide the confusion in his voice. “Show me.”

And so he did, Kageyama allowed himself to be tugged weakly in Shouyous direction until he was maneuvered to be on top of him in the most innocent way possible (courtesy to Kageyama’s self-awareness). Distressed noises were heard from underneath him when Shouyou began to fully process that Kageyama hadn’t put his full weight on him.

“I don’t want to crush you.”

“Don’t care.”

Kageyama huffed a laugh as he slowly eased himself down to press his full weight on him, “I don’t want a two-dimensional boyfriend,” A shaky sigh of relief escaped from Hinata's lips. “A pancake boyfriend.” 

Tobio’s chin was hooked over Shouyou’s shoulder and they were chest to chest, legs tangled and hands locked on either side of the spiker's head. He was still out of it without a doubt, but he was a lot more coherent than he was half an hour prior. Occasionally, Hinata would let out the occasional hitch in his breath or little noises of confusion and fear. He would squeeze his eyes shut, maybe in an attempt to clear out his mind, but when he opened them Kageyama saw they were just as clouded as before. 

He was still scared and hazy with paranoia from the lingering aftermath of his nightmare or his flashback or  _ whatever  _ had woken him up. So Kageyama did what he usually did, he started talking. There, with his lips pressed against the side of Hinata's neck, he murmured about anything and everything at once. He talked about Natsu’s performances when he was away, the cat he saw in the alleyway, how they  _ really  _ needed to get a new toaster and so on. 

The two of them basked in each other's presence as the color of the sky began to change and the dull morning light fluttered through the milky curtains, with nothing but Tobio’s voice, grainy with sleep, filtering through the silence.

\--

They were out with Kei and Yachi, with Yamaguchi being y’ know-  _ responsible  _ and busy at work. Currently, the four of them were walking around trying to figure out what to eat. Tobio supposes the military figured Shou needed a break after the shitshow that was the past couple of months since it had been 2 or 3 weeks since he had been shipped up North. Even though he knows that the more logical reason that they were worried about refugees and the death toll was more probable. 

Shouyou’s injuries had cleaned up well considering the risk of infection was high when he was up North (medical personnel had been limited and sanitation was  _ horrendous.) _ There was an array of second-degree burns and deep cuts ranging from claw marks to bullet grazes marking up his peachy skin. Though to be fair, by the time he had gotten home they were already closed and scabbing up to scar later on. 

“Listen, I’m just  _ saying- _ ” Hinata started again.

“No,” Tobio said flatly

“Hear me out-!”

“It's just-” Kageyama's face contorted into one that would resemble disgust, “It's just  _ wrong. _ ”

“It doesn't matter if it's wrong or not” Hinata pointed out, “The question is  _ can _ you drink soup with a straw not are you  _ normal _ enough to drink soup with a straw.”

“...Are you implying that we should normalize drinking soup with straws?”

“What if I am?” 

Kei was watching in amusement at their completely irrelevant debate and Yachi was grinning like an idiot. She kept making heart-shaped hands at the two of them when Shouyou got distracted and she  _ knew  _ he was watching. Hinata’s left hand was busy fiddling with the strap of his stupid Naruto backpack while his right was stuffed in his pocket clasped around his State Alchemist pocket watch. Kageyama was itching to hold his hands in the sticky July heat.

He looked boyish in his street clothes, it was cute. He had on a simple red tee and his usual cargo shorts, the chain of his pocket watch clipped to a belt loop. His black pumas were back on and Kageyama couldn’t help but notice how  _ normal  _ he looked in his street clothes. He was even wearing his old watch from highschool.

“Dumbass,” Kageyama said fondly as he gently shoved at Hinata's arm, no real strength behind it. “I swear on my life if you  _ ever-”  _

They were interrupted by Yachi’s shout. “Oh-!” The three of them looked up “We should go there!” She pointed to a small run-down building

“A thrift store?” Shouyou asked with big doe eyes looking up at the sign, Yachi nodded vigorously.

“Yes! You’d be surprised what you can find in there” Yachi said thoughtfully, probably remembering how she found some shitty fursuit or something in there.“It’ll be fun!”

“We’re still trying to figure out where to eat Yach,” Kei pointed out and Yachi deflated the slightest. “But we can always go afterward.”

“Yes!” She grabbed at Tsukishima’s arms, grinning like a madman “I can dress you guys!”

“What?” Shouyou looked confused, “What do you mean?”

Hitoka solemnly patted his shoulder, “I’ve known you since we were 15 and you still dress like a little boy.” 

Tsukishima and Tobio both let out a burst of laughter at that and Shouyou soon followed. Yachi looked him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

“Cute, but you have so much  _ potential- _ You’re hot Shouyou.” Hinata's face turned bright red at that, and Tobio couldn’t help but silently agree with Yachi because his  _ thighs-  _

Instead, he snorted, she whirled on him and Kei next.

“You guys too! You-” She pointed to Tsukishima, “You dress like a broke college student!”

“That's because  _ I am,”  _ but Yachi shushed him

“They don't know that.” She turned on Tobio next who put up his hands in fake surrender.

“Kags, you dress like a lazy jock.”

“Ouch.” True, he had given up volleyball but that didn’t mean he didn’t still exercise. He had taken up going for a morning jog routine since high school, Hinata sometimes went on morning bike rides too. He still had his old thing from high school that they kept chained on the bike rack next to their building complex. 

“There’s a pizza place over there,” Kei said, heavily devoted to finding a spot to eat. Shouyou perked up at the mention so the four of them decided to head over. They talked and laughed over an extra-large cheese pizza (Yachi is a vegetarian) and for an hour there it felt just like they were back in high school. When the four of them (plus Yamaguchi) would sit under the stairwell eating during lunch and whispering secrets and stupid jokes. Or during overnight trips where they would get caught playing cards way into the early morning and then got scolded by Daichi, then Ennoshita, then eventually Coach Ukai (as they got older)

“What are you thinking about, stupid?” Hinata had poked his shoulder startling him out of his thoughts. He had a goofy smile on his face and Tobio had the sudden urge to kiss him but he refused to sacrifice his dignity in front of his smart-ass friends so easily.

“Highschool.” 

Shouyou’s lips turned into a little ‘O’ face before going to grab another slice of pizza. His right leg was tucked under him, his other leg bouncing against the floor because he was never able to sit still, let alone _ normally. _ It was...cute.

Everything about this boy was endearing, Kageyama swears that he could blink and it would leave him flustered and spluttering. Wordlessly, he slithered his arm around his shoulders to rest there. He stared ahead and refused to acknowledge the act of physical affection as Yachi and Kei poorly hid their giddy whispers. He saw Shouyou stop mid-chew to look at him with pink cheeks out of the corner of his eye. 

_ Fuck. _

He was just beginning to regret his decision before Hinata learned into the touch with a soft smile before turning back around to battle Tsukishima for the last slice of pizza. Suddenly, Kageyama’s phone buzzed against the table, when he glanced down momentarily he saw Yachi’s name pop up.

** (Hitoka Yachi) 2:34 pm:  ** Smooth

It was followed by a ridiculous number of kissy emojis. He looked up to see her grinning and he sent back a quick;

** (Me) 2:34 pm:  ** Fuck you.

** (Hitoka Yachi) 2:35 pm:  ** Aww don't be mad its cuuuute

Kageyama huffed and shoved his phone in his pocket. 

After they finished, Shouyou had paid. Not only because he had the most money (State Alchemists got paid a hefty amount) but also since he got a military discount. All he had to do was flash his pocket watch and the guy gave them 15 dollars off. He  _ was _ a well known Alchemist, after all.

The thrift store was more exciting than he thought it would be. While Kei was getting styled Hinata and himself wandered around the store, this time he made sure to catch the spiker's hand before it got busy elsewhere. Shouyou had found a pair of ridiculous socks that cut off mid-calf with little embroidered cat faces littering them, he had bought the socks immediately. 

Much to Yachi’s disappointment, the store contained more ridiculous second-hand items than not. Claiming she didn’t have much to work with, she opted for styling them in ridiculous costumes.

Kei had been dressed in a white suit, a pair of black rubber kitchen gloves, some rain boots, and an astronaut helmet. Hitoka  _ swore  _ that he was an astronaut but all Tobio could see was an idiot and his boyfriend crying on the floor with laughter. He hadn’t been able to take it off, Yachi wanted a group picture. 

Kageyama was forced into a shitty cowboy outfit that looked more like a farmer's outfit. It consisted of overalls, a flannel shirt, and a cowboy hat. This time Hinata had been laughing at him, Kei too. He did look kind of funny, so he couldn’t exactly blame them.

Maybe in high school, he would have gotten angry, not now though.  _ He had really softened up since high school. _

Next up had been Hinata, who at first had been dressed  _ very  _ willingly into a black tux (only the top though) that was way too big on him (they had to roll up the sleeves), some black sweats (they couldn’t find the bottom piece to the tux), a top hat, and a red bow-tie.  _ He was a magician _ , Kageyama thinks,  _ Huh. Fitting. _

Finally, there was Yachi who Tsukishima and himself had dressed out of revenge. Hinata was having the time of his  _ fucking  _ life in that shitty magician costume. He had even found a stuffed rabbit to pull it together.  _ Cute. _

The two of them had shoved Yachi into some ridiculous clown costume they found lying around. It was amazing, Kei had even found a rainbow wig to go along with it.

Pictures were taken, poses were made, some made to be funny and some not. Regardless if they were weird as shit or not, they went up on Yachi’s Twitter  _ and  _ Instagram. Hinata had taken a selfie with Kageyama, Shouyou had been grinning like an idiot and Tobio gave him the best poker face he could out of spite before bursting out in laughter after the third or fourth picture. By the end of the day, all the photos were up on his Instagram, the sequence of pictures of Tobio bursting out in laughter was funny, he had laughed at them himself.

It had been a waste of 2 and a half hours since nobody bought anything except for Shouyou and his pair of socks. It was fun though, as they split apart into their separate vehicles Hinata was flush in the face from laughter, the nape of his neck damp from sweating in the sticky summer heat. The two of them walked hand and hand to the car, the dipping low sun spilling golden honey over them and their shadows.

\--

They had been watching movies when Kageyama took a moment to think about it. 

Hinata was there, curled up next to him once again. He looked like a cat, or some sort of small dog, maybe. He was in one of Kageyama's button-ups and his boxers, asleep, with soft puffs of air tickling his shoulder. He was beautiful, anybody could see that. He had a petite yet toned stature with curly tufts of hair sticking out everywhere (Kageyama  _ lived  _ for the fall when he was able to see him in beanies). He gently reached down to peck the spiker's lips before shutting the laptop balancing on Hinata's legs. He could still taste his cherry chapstick.

He had lost count of the number of times the two of them had gone out for lunch and a number had been slipped under Shouyous drink. That was before they started dating though, then, he had sat idly by as the boy he adored was getting hit on. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

Kageyama supposes that he is pretty, he’d been told so many  _ many  _ times by other people even though he was sure he was the most average person alive. But if  _ he’s _ pretty then Hinata must be gorgeous.

Tobio thinks that they were able to slip so easily into a relationship because the two of them were already accommodated to physical touch. Even before they started dating, they would lie down together and hug and just be more affectionate than your average best friends. There had always been something between the two of them, they had just never acted on it. Some things were still awkward and weird, but their relationship was still new to an extent. 

Speaking of which, they had never been on a date. Kageyama hadn’t lived up to his promise of taking Shouyou on a date but there just hadn’t been the time. He was busy studying Physics all the time and Hinata was busy trying to figure out what he’d do for his annual State Alchemist ‘check-in’ for whatever it was. Every year they would hold one to redeem their status in the military. Even then, Shou was always researching and flying through books about alchemy and science and stuff he didn’t understand. It was funny how they had to fight tooth and nail to get the guy to even open a homework packet in highschool when his side hobby had always been some complicated alchemic shit.

They needed to go on a date. Like, now. Kageyama frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, he had thought about the cat cafe more often than not but he also wanted to take Hinata somewhere really nice. Maybe a jazz club, Shou liked music, all genres of it. He would have to think about it, he wanted to put something together, and soon. 

Later that night, (Kageyama had passed out sometime during his deep and analytical thinking), when Tobio was sitting at the living room scrolling through his phone, there was a sharp trill that cut through the air. 

It was Shouyou’s phone. 

Hinata was up too, they had gotten up to hastily throw something together for dinner. Well, more like his boyfriend had gotten up to throw something together for dinner since Tobio was banned from the kitchen after accidentally setting fire to their stove after he threw frozen french fries in a pot of boiling oil  _ ( _ shut up,  _ shut up!).  _ To be fair, he had been hungry and desperate. 

But that was then and this was now. And right now, Shouyou’s phone was buzzing on the kitchen table. Part of him didn’t want to let him know just so they could have a few more days with just the two of them, he knew the chances of it being the military were more possible than it is a close friend checking in.  _ Still…  _

Swallowing down his selfishness, Kageyama grabbed at the phone and made his way into the kitchen. “Shouyou,” He looked back at his place from in front of the stove, “Phone.” Kageyama cringed as Hinata took the phone from him after tossing a towel through his hands. 

Truth be told, Kageyama didn’t know how long he would make it without the smaller by his side. Last time had been  _ so  _ long, he damn near had a nervous breakdown every time he had heard something up North.  _ No,  _ he reminded himself,  _ that was different.  _

“Sir.”

_ Shit,  _ Fuck.

There was a low drown on the other side and Kageyama had to restrain himself from slapping the phone out of Hinata’s hand. Instead, he let them finish their conversation, letting Shouyou’s formal-responsible-military-man voice wash over him. He didn’t listen, didn’t want to. 

With hands clenched and a downcast gaze, he asked, “So?” The word had been gritted out. He didn’t want to hear and prepared himself for the worst. It would probably be another mission in some faraway, dangerous land. Maybe this one would be South, or East, or West, or maybe back North because maybe they hadn’t killed all of the chimeras and they had split themselves in half and now there was more of them or something he didn’t know, he didn't know how alchemy worked he didn't  _ know anything- _

“Tobio.” Hands were resting on his shoulders. Fuck alchemy and fuck the military.

“What?” He spat out, not exactly angry but… upset. He was upset and usually that somehow molded itself into anger.

_ “Tobio.” _ Shouyou held an unyielding gaze with him.

“ _ What?! _ ”

“I’m not leaving again.”

“Okay.”  _ Then why did they call you? _

“I have to fill out a report on a town a couple of hours out west-” 

“You  _ are  _ leaving!” He didn’t know why he was upset, it was dumb. He knew he was leaving, he  _ knew  _ that he was leaving yet he still acted surprised. Shouyou bit his lip maybe out of guilt or regret. 

“I mean, yeah but-” Shouyou paused trying to collect the words, “It’ll be a short mission this time, only a day or two.” Kageyama let out a shuddering sigh, his body slumping. He had said that again and again and again and  _ again- _

“Okay,” he whispered. ‘ _ Don’t make promises you can’t keep _ ’ Tobio wanted to scream.

Childishly, he wanted to throw a fit and cry but not only would that be disturbing as a functioning 19 (going on 20) year old man by society's standards but it would also be unfair to Shou. He knew he didn't ask for this life, he’s only enlisted to make money for his family which was just all the more  _ unfair. _

“Only a couple of days,” Hinata said again

“Okay.”

He looked like he wanted to say something else, his eyes flooded with emotion, his teeth gnawing nervously as his lip. Kageyama didn’t give him the chance, he just brushed the hands of the other off his shoulders and went to claim his spot back at the table.

The food tasted like sawdust, bland and heavy, (which wasn’t right because Hinata was an  _ amazing  _ cook). That night, for some reason, the silence was particularly thick, the room oddly cold, and the darkness stubbornly unyielding.

The next day at the train station they exchanged goodbye’s and when a kiss was pressed to his cheek he did nothing but grip Shouyou’s hands a little tighter.

\--

Kageyama visited the Hinata household once again that weekend. When Mrs. Hinata had found out that he had been sent off again she threw down her towel and shouted in frustration. They had only visited once during the couple of weeks Shouyou was home, both too caught up in their separate work to make time. Time had run out on them. 

“Why didn’t the damn boy come home when he could?!” She had said, “Idiot.”

“I’m sorry,” He shook his head, regrettably. Natsu was gone, at a band rehearsal. She would probably be upset too but he doubted she fully understood the situation as it was. Shouyou had just gotten home from a four-month trip- a battle, really, and he had only been home for a month before being shipped off again. “He said it would only be a couple of days.”

The widow scoffed, “He’s a military dog now, boy.” The words hung in the air like she wanted to say something more but she never did. Kageyama only nodded, pretending to understand. Lots of people hated the military, especially the State Alchemists after the war. There was a handful, though, that was well respected and supported by the public. Once, Yamaguchi had asked  _ why  _ people liked him more than others. Hinata had responded,  _ I get the job done without disturbing the people  _ he said,  _ A lot of Alchemists have no respect for the civilians.  _ When Tadashi had asked what he meant, Shouyou had only said,  _ Not everybody cares as much as I do. _

The term 'military dog', Kageyama supposes, refers to how State Alchemists do all the dirty work. Shouyou had even said it himself once at the last team meet up, 

_ “I mean that they need me there. Alchemists are the dogs of the military,”  _ He had paused as he shucked his yellow hoodie over his sweaty t-shirt _. “We get all the dirty work done.”  _

The rest of the week was achingly empty yet not unkind. Tsukishima and himself watched movies back at the apartment, which would have repulsed Tobio maybe in their first or second year, but not anymore. There was so much history between all of them (Yachi, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Hinata, himself), they had been there for each other at their best and their worst. Hell, it was Yachi and Shouyou who had dragged him out of a pit of angst in their second year after he saw his mom with her new family (she had two kids,  _ two)  _ when he was at the store. He had cried out of anger, sobbed out of sadness, and yet Yachi had still forced him off of his couch and shoved him into the shower and made him eat whatever Hinata had cooked. 

He would take that boy on a date the second he got home. He swore on his life that he would.

\--

Shouyou looked ten seconds from collapsing by the time they entered their home, which was fine, he had predicted just as much. The train ride had been long, and it was half-past 11.

“Let me take your jacket.” He had been gone for a couple of days, depending on what someone would consider  _ ‘a couple.’ _ . He had been gone for a mere 5 days, nothing too extravagantly long which Tobio was undeniably grateful for.

“Thanks,” Hinata had said softly, it was ground out and drawn out. He sounded tired,  _ actually  _ tired this time, not just …  _ emotionally  _ tired

“I can fix something real quick while you shower?” Shouyous mouth formed into some sort of smile he thinks was supposed to be mocking. He opened it to probably say something snarky but Kageyama cut him off.

“Do you want to starve, dumbass?!” He said, irritated now. Shouyou laughed and Tobio felt warmth spill back into him. He grunted, ignoring the warmth blooming on the tips of his ears.

Only when he heard the telltale sound of the shower starting did Kageyama scramble to put his plan into motion. He knew the Alchemist would be tired after his trip and he couldn’t exactly promise that the two of them would be free any other time within the next couple of weeks. Earlier that week, he had snagged some Christmas lights and their hooks from Shouyous mother. When she had asked why he had just claimed that he wanted to decorate their place.

Kageyama threw some of the food Tsukishima had helped him put together at the last minute during their movie session two days prior in the microwave as he got to work on the lights. 

If they didn’t have enough time to go out and do something together, Kageyama had opted for the next best thing. He was bringing the date to  _ him.  _ He had even gotten his suit dry cleaned for the occasion, and was planning on slicking back his hair just how Shouyou liked it,  _ it lets me see your face _ , he had said during a school dance in their second year.

He had put up the hooks earlier that week, the only problem now was arranging them around the room. If he was being completely honest, he hadn’t thought it out and didn’t have time to either. He scrambled to throw the lights up around the kitchen in a frenzy, he was running out of time. Kageyama was just lucky that Hinata took extra long showers after missions. His socks slipping as he rounded the corner into their bedroom, he yanked on his suit and hastily raked his hair back.

_ Good enough. _

He didn’t have time to ponder about precision in his whole getup since the shower-

-The shower had turned  _ off. _

Kageyama fumbled to turn on all the lights before slamming their alarm clock on the counter to flip through the channels until he found the jazz channel. 

The door had opened.

He threw the plates on the counter with a clatter as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, trying his best to act like he hadn’t just run around the house trying to throw together some shitty date. 

“ _ Tobio?” _ Hinata stood in front of the entryway of the kitchen, wearing one of Kageyama’s hoodies, boxers, and those ridiculous cat socks from the other day. The twinkling Christmas lights were illuminating him, reflecting the light off of his iris’, bouncing off of wet curls. His doe eyes glistened and a light flush dusted his cheeks as he made his way to Tobio, taking his time and twirling around once or twice to take in the whole room glistening with blinding lights around him.  _ Gorgeous. _

Now Kageyama doesn’t regret throwing up the lights in disarray, it would be a pain in the ass to clean up but it was already well worth it. Some lights were dipping low enough to brush against the counter, others lacing the ceiling above them. The low jazz music hummed in the background as the universe swirled around them,  _ just the two of them. _

“I just thought since we’re always busy,” He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed, “ A-and I  _ did  _ promise that I’d take you on a date…” He trailed off, hoping the rest was self-explanatory.

“You're wearing the socks I got you,” Shouyou said cheekily

_ Damn,  _ He knew he was forgetting something. His socks were bright pink with little bananas on them (he fucking hated bananas) and they clashed horribly with the mood he was going for with his sleek suit.

“You look good,” Hinata said as he reached up to push back a stray hair dangling in front of Kageyama's eye, “I like your hair like this” he sighed, “I can see your face.” _ I know. _ Kageyama felt a smile bloom on his face as he sheepishly looked away before holding out his hands.

“Dance with me?” Hinata smiled as he took his invitation. There, they stayed, swaying under the murmuring of jazz, with Shouyou pressed tight against his chest humming along to the melody. The low lighting of the dazzling lights flicked periodically, meteor showers fluttering in and out of their kitchen. 

“Kageyama?” Shouyou murmured against his collarbone, the food was long forgotten about on the counter. Good thing too, it probably tasted like steaming hot garbage.

“Hm?”

“Thank you,” Hinata was tracing circles -no-  _ flowers  _ on his back as he talked, “You’re the best, I love you.”

Internal Kageyama threw his fists in the air and shouted from the top of his lungs, External Kageyama hummed from his place on top of his boyfriend's head. “I love you too.”

They swayed like they were lost in the stars for the rest of the night, the music moving and guiding their every step. With Hinata so underdressed in some boxers and a hoodie and Tobio in a whole suit, he couldn’t help but look at his human disaster and think,  _ yes but this is  _ my  _ human disaster.  _ When he told Shou so, he received a swat with a sweater paw on the arm. Everything was so imperfect, the food was ass (as predicted), he was wearing his dumbass socks,  _ and _ they had gotten caught more than once in the low dipping stars. And yet, it was still somehow, the best night of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE SENT CHAPTER PROMPTS OR IDEAS!!
> 
> I'm running out of ideas and I refuse to cut this fic short!! Thank you ily guys. Sorry, that this chapter is so jumbled and rushed It's not my favorite thing I've ever written. Comments suggestions and criticism are much welcomed :)

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, and concerns are again- much welcomed in the comments. Thank you for reading and please be safe, STAY INSIDE!! <3


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